Author: Laurie Grenya

Client:
I have a team member who’s been gossiping, stirring up drama, and creating a really negative environment. Morale is starting to drop, and I’m hearing about things secondhand that make me concerned. How do I address this without making it worse?

Consultant:
Gossip might sound like a soft issue—but its impact is hard-hitting. It undermines trust, erodes culture, and distracts from the real work. The goal is to call it out clearly, privately, and with a focus on expectations—not accusations.

Client:
What do I say in the moment? I don’t want to sound like I’m policing conversations.

Consultant:
You’re not the gossip police—you’re the culture keeper. Approach it with curiosity and clarity.

Try this:
“I’ve noticed some conversations and tone lately that seem to be affecting team morale. I want to talk with you about what I’m seeing and the kind of environment we’re working to maintain.”

Client:
What if they deny it or say they were just ‘venting’?

Consultant:
That’s a common defense. Shift the focus from their intent to their impact.

Say:
“I understand you may not have meant harm, and the result is still that it’s creating tension in the team. We all have tough days, and when frustration turns into side conversations or speculation, it hurts the group.”

Client:
How direct can I be about the behavior?

Consultant:
Very. Gossip thrives in ambiguity. Be clear about what you’re seeing and what needs to stop.

You might say:
“Comments that criticize others behind their backs or spread unverified information have no place on this team. It undermines trust, and I expect it to stop immediately.”

Client:
What if they say others are doing it too?

Consultant:
Redirect. This conversation is about their behavior, not anyone else’s.

Say:
“I’m talking to you because I’ve observed or heard concerns about your conduct. If there are broader concerns, I’ll address those separately. Right now, I need your focus on how you contribute to the team’s culture.”

Client:
Should I document this conversation?

Consultant:
Absolutely. Gossip might feel informal, but the impact is very real. Document what you discussed, the expectations you set, and the employee’s response.

And say:
“We’re having this conversation to reset expectations. I’m documenting it informally for now, and if the behavior continues, we’ll move to formal steps.”

Client:
What if the gossip doesn’t stop?

Consultant:
Then it becomes a conduct issue. Escalate with formal warnings and tie it to your workplace standards.

You can say:
“We’ve discussed this before, and I’m still hearing reports of gossip and negativity. At this point, it’s impacting the team and will result in formal corrective action if it continues.”

Client:
So, I don’t have to be mean—I just have to be clear.

Consultant:
Exactly. Gossip loses power when you shine a light on it. Be respectful, firm, and consistent—and your culture will thank you for it.

Recap:
✔ Gossip is a conduct issue, not harmless chatter
✔ Address it early and privately
✔ Focus on impact, not intention
✔ Be direct, document it, and follow through
✔ Culture is built—and protected—through action

And if you need help scripting difficult conversations or creating a code of conduct—we’re here to support you.

Client: I’ve got an employee who’s constantly going above and beyond—but sometimes too far. They’re stepping into other people’s roles, taking over decisions they shouldn’t, and it’s starting to create friction. They mean well, but it’s getting disruptive. How do I handle it?

Consultant: It’s a classic case of over-achievement turned overstep. Their energy is valuable—and it needs direction. The goal is to keep their motivation without letting them derail roles, boundaries, or team trust.

Client: I don’t want to shut them down—they’re one of my hardest workers. But they’re stepping on toes.

Consultant: That’s the right instinct. You want to coach, not crush. Start by affirming their contributions—and then re-center the conversation on structure and roles.

Try this:
“I really value your initiative and the energy you bring to your work. At the same time, I’ve noticed you’re stepping into areas that aren’t part of your role, and it’s starting to cause confusion for others. Let’s talk about how to channel your drive while keeping clear boundaries.”

Client: What if they say, ‘I was just trying to help’?

Consultant: That’s likely—and it’s true. Reinforce that intent doesn’t cancel out impact.

Say:
“I know your intention is to support the team, and I appreciate that. And when roles get blurred, even with the best intent, it can lead to confusion and missed expectations. Let’s work together on where your role ends—and where support is still welcome.”

Client: Should I adjust their job to give them more responsibility?

Consultant: Only if it makes sense operationally. If they’re ready and the organization has room for it, explore it. But don’t reward boundary-crossing with promotion by default.

You might say:
“Let’s explore opportunities for growth in a structured way. If you’re interested in broader responsibilities, we can talk about what development or steps are needed to prepare you for that.”

Client: What if they’re intimidating others without realizing it?

Consultant: That’s a big flag. Overreach can feel like micromanagement or mistrust to coworkers—even when unintentional.

Address it with:
“I’ve heard some feedback that your involvement in certain areas is making it harder for others to own their work. That wasn’t your intent, but it is the impact. Let’s talk about how we can help you lead from within your role, without overstepping others.”

Client: What if they keep doing it?

Consultant: Then it shifts from coaching to correction. Document the behavior and clarify consequences.

Say:
“We’ve discussed boundaries and expectations, and I’m still seeing some overreach. I need you to stay within your role, and if that doesn’t happen, we’ll have to move to a formal discussion.”

Client: So, the message is: Stay ambitious—but stay in your lane?

Consultant: Exactly. Encourage drive. Reinforce structure. And when needed—draw the line.

Recap:
✔ Acknowledge intent, manage impact
✔ Clarify roles and expectations—early and often
✔ Offer growth paths, not free rein
✔ Address peer impact directly
✔ Coach first, correct if necessary

And if you need help drafting role clarity tools or coaching high performers—we’re here to support you.

Client: I just got a request from one of my employees asking if they can receive donated leave from coworkers because they’ve run out of their own time. The thing is—we don’t have a leave donation policy. How should I respond?

Consultant: That’s a tough spot—and a common one. When people face health issues or personal crises, others often want to help. But without a clear program in place, approving informal donations opens up fairness issues, administrative headaches, and potential liability. You’re right to pause before saying yes.

Client: I don’t want to come across as unsympathetic, especially since others seem willing to donate. What do I say?

Consultant: Lead with compassion—and policy clarity. Acknowledge the difficult circumstances while being transparent about the limitations.

Try this:
“I appreciate that your colleagues want to support you, and I understand how difficult this situation is. At this time, we don’t have a formal leave donation policy in place, so we’re unable to accommodate that request.”

Client: Couldn’t we just allow it this one time, informally?

Consultant: Tempting, but risky. Allowing an informal leave donation without a policy creates precedent—and opens you up to favoritism claims or confusion about future requests. If you want to go down that road, it needs to be formalized first.

You can say:
“Because we don’t have a process or policy for handling donated leave, approving a request informally would be inconsistent and potentially unfair to others. If this is something we want to consider as an organization, it needs to be thoughtfully structured.”

Client: What about unpaid leave instead?

Consultant: That’s a reasonable alternative—especially if the need is temporary and the business can accommodate it.

Offer:
“While we can’t approve donated leave at this time, we can explore whether an unpaid leave of absence is possible. Let’s talk about the time you’re requesting and what coverage would look like.”

Client: Should I bring this up with leadership to explore creating a formal program?

Consultant: Absolutely. If employee support and organizational flexibility align, a leave donation policy can be a great addition.

Just make sure it includes:
– Clear eligibility rules
– Documentation and approval procedures
– Limits on donated time
– Privacy protections for recipients and donors

And—make sure it’s reviewed legally before implementing.

Client: How do I explain this to the team if others are asking to donate?

Consultant: Be transparent and consistent. Keep it general to protect privacy, but emphasize fairness and process.

You could say:
“We appreciate the generosity and willingness to support a teammate. Right now, we don’t have a policy in place that allows donated leave, and we need to be consistent across the organization. If we explore a policy in the future, we’ll be sure to communicate with everyone.”

Client: Got it. So, I can be kind without being inconsistent.

Consultant: Exactly. Empathy doesn’t require bending policies you don’t have. Offer what’s available, be honest about what’s not, and if there’s organizational interest in creating a program—move it forward the right way.

Recap:
✔ Acknowledge the request with empathy
✔ Say no clearly when there’s no policy
✔ Avoid one-time exceptions—they create risk
✔ Offer unpaid leave when appropriate
✔ Bring up policy development if it fits your culture

And if you need help drafting a leave donation policy or managing complex leave requests—we’re here to support you.

Client: I’ve got an employee who’s used up all their vacation and sick leave—but now they’re asking for additional time off to go on a vacation. I don’t want to be the bad guy, but this doesn’t sit right with me. How do I handle it?

Consultant: This is where boundaries meet fairness. When someone has used all their available leave, asking for more—especially for vacation—can create ripple effects. The key is to separate empathy from enabling and base your response on consistency and policy.

Client: So, what do I say without sounding harsh or unsupportive?

Consultant: Acknowledge the request and hold the line on the policy.

Try:
“I understand you’d like to take time off, and I want to support work-life balance. At the same time, you’ve used all of your accrued leave, and we can’t approve additional time off at this point.”

Client: What if they ask to take it unpaid?

Consultant: That’s a fair question—and it depends on your organizational policy. Some workplaces allow unpaid time off with approval; others don’t. What matters is being consistent.

You might say:
“We generally don’t approve unpaid time off for vacation when all leave has been used. If there’s a compelling reason, I can take it under consideration—but we also need to balance the operational impact.”

Client: What if they say they already booked the trip?

Consultant: That’s a ‘planning on permission’ move—not a best practice. You’re not obligated to accommodate it. Be firm.

Say:
“I understand the trip is already planned, and I wish the timing were different. Unfortunately, advance bookings don’t override our leave policies. If we allow this, it sets a precedent we can’t sustain.”

Client: Could I offer a compromise, like working extra hours to ‘make up’ the time?

Consultant: Only if it aligns with policy, job duties, and fairness to others. Allowing someone to bank time might be fine in salaried-exempt roles, but it’s riskier for hourly employees.

Try:
“We don’t have a flex system that allows ‘making up’ full days in advance. Leave policies are structured to ensure fairness, and we need to apply them consistently.”

Client: What if this turns into a morale issue?

Consultant: Sometimes saying ‘no’ causes frustration—but saying ‘yes’ causes confusion and resentment from others. Be clear, fair, and direct.

You might also preempt concerns by saying:
“We value time off, and we’re committed to managing it fairly. If someone needs additional time, they can plan ahead or save leave for future use. That ensures everyone’s treated equitably.”

Client: So, the message is—‘We care, and we also have to follow the rules’?

Consultant: Exactly. Supportive doesn’t mean soft. You can respect the request without approving it—and reinforce that policies exist to protect fairness and operations.

Recap:
✔ Acknowledge the request without guilt
✔ Review policy before responding
✔ Say no clearly if it’s not supported
✔ Offer limited flexibility only if consistent and operationally sound
✔ Reinforce fairness and planning going forward

And if you need help refining your time-off policies or communication strategies—we’re here to support you.

Client: We just filled a position, and one of the internal candidates who wasn’t selected is now refusing to help onboard the new hire. They’re clearly upset, and it’s creating tension. How do I handle this?

Consultant: Ah, the classic case of post-interview pouting. Internal applicants who aren’t selected may feel embarrassed, overlooked, or even betrayed—especially when expected to train the person who did get the job. Still, disappointment can’t excuse unprofessional behavior. Let’s get ahead of this before it festers.

Client: I get that they’re hurt, but refusing to onboard the new person is hurting the team. What should I say?

Consultant: You’ll want to acknowledge their disappointment, while resetting expectations for their role. Stay calm, clear, and constructive.

Try:
“I understand this outcome was frustrating, and I appreciate your interest in the position. That said, part of your current role includes supporting onboarding efforts, and I expect you to follow through on that responsibility. Let’s talk about how you can do that professionally.”

Client: What if they say they don’t want to train the person who got the job they wanted?

Consultant: That’s honest—and not optional. They don’t have to like it. They do have to do it.

You could say:
“You’re entitled to feel disappointed, and you’re still responsible for fulfilling your duties. Onboarding isn’t a personal favor—it’s part of your job.”

Client: What if I didn’t give them feedback about why they didn’t get the job? Could that be part of the issue?

Consultant: Very likely. Internal candidates deserve timely, honest, and constructive feedback. If that didn’t happen, now’s the time.

Try:
“I realize I didn’t provide feedback after the decision was made. Let’s have that conversation now so you can understand what went into the choice—and what to focus on for future opportunities.”

Client: What if they’re passive-aggressively undermining the new hire?

Consultant: That’s a red flag. Document it and address it directly.

Say:
“I’ve observed comments and behavior that are making onboarding more difficult. That’s not acceptable. I expect you to contribute to a professional, welcoming environment. Let’s talk about what that looks like moving forward.”

Client: What if they just need time to cool off?

Consultant: That’s fine—as long as the work still gets done. If they need space, offer it. If they’re avoiding responsibilities, that’s a separate conversation.

Offer:
“If you need some time to process this, let’s talk about how we can support that while still meeting onboarding needs. The work can’t pause, but we can find a way forward that’s fair to everyone involved.”

Client: So, the key is to acknowledge the disappointment, hold them accountable, and course-correct behavior?

Consultant: Exactly. You don’t have to rescue their feelings—you just have to lead with clarity and fairness. The goal is professionalism, not perfection.

Recap:
✔ Acknowledge the disappointment
✔ Reinforce expectations—onboarding is part of their role
✔ Offer feedback if it was missing
✔ Don’t tolerate sabotage—document and act
✔ Balance empathy with accountability

And if you need help navigating the tough conversation—or crafting internal feedback and onboarding protocols—we’re always here to support you.