Client: We just filled a position, and one of the internal candidates who wasn’t selected is now refusing to help onboard the new hire. They’re clearly upset, and it’s creating tension. How do I handle this?
Consultant: Ah, the classic case of post-interview pouting. Internal applicants who aren’t selected may feel embarrassed, overlooked, or even betrayed—especially when expected to train the person who did get the job. Still, disappointment can’t excuse unprofessional behavior. Let’s get ahead of this before it festers.
Client: I get that they’re hurt, but refusing to onboard the new person is hurting the team. What should I say?
Consultant: You’ll want to acknowledge their disappointment, while resetting expectations for their role. Stay calm, clear, and constructive.
Try:
“I understand this outcome was frustrating, and I appreciate your interest in the position. That said, part of your current role includes supporting onboarding efforts, and I expect you to follow through on that responsibility. Let’s talk about how you can do that professionally.”
Client: What if they say they don’t want to train the person who got the job they wanted?
Consultant: That’s honest—and not optional. They don’t have to like it. They do have to do it.
You could say:
“You’re entitled to feel disappointed, and you’re still responsible for fulfilling your duties. Onboarding isn’t a personal favor—it’s part of your job.”
Client: What if I didn’t give them feedback about why they didn’t get the job? Could that be part of the issue?
Consultant: Very likely. Internal candidates deserve timely, honest, and constructive feedback. If that didn’t happen, now’s the time.
Try:
“I realize I didn’t provide feedback after the decision was made. Let’s have that conversation now so you can understand what went into the choice—and what to focus on for future opportunities.”
Client: What if they’re passive-aggressively undermining the new hire?
Consultant: That’s a red flag. Document it and address it directly.
Say:
“I’ve observed comments and behavior that are making onboarding more difficult. That’s not acceptable. I expect you to contribute to a professional, welcoming environment. Let’s talk about what that looks like moving forward.”
Client: What if they just need time to cool off?
Consultant: That’s fine—as long as the work still gets done. If they need space, offer it. If they’re avoiding responsibilities, that’s a separate conversation.
Offer:
“If you need some time to process this, let’s talk about how we can support that while still meeting onboarding needs. The work can’t pause, but we can find a way forward that’s fair to everyone involved.”
Client: So, the key is to acknowledge the disappointment, hold them accountable, and course-correct behavior?
Consultant: Exactly. You don’t have to rescue their feelings—you just have to lead with clarity and fairness. The goal is professionalism, not perfection.
Recap:
✔ Acknowledge the disappointment
✔ Reinforce expectations—onboarding is part of their role
✔ Offer feedback if it was missing
✔ Don’t tolerate sabotage—document and act
✔ Balance empathy with accountability
And if you need help navigating the tough conversation—or crafting internal feedback and onboarding protocols—we’re always here to support you.