Category: From the Files of HR Answers

Client: I have an employee who never takes responsibility for mistakes. Anytime something goes wrong, they blame someone else or make passive-aggressive comments. How do I address this without making the situation worse?

Consultant: Dealing with passive-aggressive behavior is frustrating because it’s indirect, and it disrupts the team. The key is to focus on accountability, set clear expectations, and not get drawn into their deflections.

Client: How do I even start the conversation without them getting defensive?

Consultant: Approach it factually and keep emotions out of it. Focus on behaviors, not intentions.

Try this:
I’ve noticed that when issues come up, there’s a pattern of shifting blame instead of focusing on solutions. I want to talk about how we can improve communication and accountability moving forward.

This frames the conversation around team success rather than personal criticism.

Client: What if they deny it or make excuses?

Consultant: Passive-aggressive employees often avoid direct confrontation, so they may try to deflect. Instead of arguing, redirect the focus to expectations.

You might say:
“I’m not here to debate the past. What I need to see moving forward is ownership of responsibilities and a solution-focused approach when mistakes happen.”

This makes it clear that accountability is the expectation.

Client: What if they keep pointing fingers at their coworkers?

Consultant: Don’t engage in the blame game. Instead, shift the focus back to their role.

Try this:
“I hear that you’re frustrated, and I expect everyone to work together. Regardless of what others do, I need you to take responsibility for your own work and how you respond to challenges.”

This sets a boundary while keeping the conversation professional.

Client: What if they respond with sarcasm or passive-aggressive comments?

Consultant: Call out the behavior in a neutral way and reset expectations.

You could say:
“I want to keep this conversation productive. If something isn’t clear, let’s talk about it directly so we can find a solution together.”

This puts the responsibility on them to engage in a real conversation instead of hiding behind sarcasm.

Client: What if their behavior doesn’t change?

Consultant: If the pattern continues, you need to set formal expectations and document the issue.

You might say:
“We’ve talked about this before, and I’m still seeing the same behaviors. Moving forward, I expect accountability and professionalism. If this continues, we’ll need to take further steps to address it.”

This makes it clear that there are consequences for ongoing behavior issues.

Client: So, the key is to stay neutral, set expectations, and not engage in their deflections?

Consultant: Exactly. Stay direct, don’t take the bait, and focus on accountability. Passive-aggressive behavior thrives on avoidance—clear expectations and follow-through will help shift the dynamic.

And if you need help structuring a formal performance discussion, we’re here to support you.

Client: I have employees coming to me saying their pay isn’t fair compared to their coworkers. I know I can’t discuss individual salaries, but I also don’t want to create more tension by shutting them down. How do I handle this?

Consultant: Pay concerns can be tricky because they tap into emotions, perceptions of fairness, and workplace morale. The key is to acknowledge their concerns, provide general transparency about how pay decisions are made, and redirect the conversation toward their own growth opportunities.

Client: What do I say if they demand to know what their coworkers make?

Consultant: Keep it professional and firm. Confidentiality around salaries is non-negotiable. You can still provide reassurance about the fairness of your pay structure.

You might say:
“I understand that pay fairness is important, and I want to assure you that we follow a structured approach when determining salaries. While I can’t discuss anyone else’s pay, I’m happy to go over how pay decisions are made and what opportunities exist for growth in your role.”

This keeps the focus on process and individual development rather than comparisons.

Client: What if they say they know a coworker makes more for the same job?

Consultant: Employees sometimes hear about salaries through informal conversations, and that information isn’t always complete or accurate. Instead of debating, steer the conversation toward what they can control.

Try this:
“Pay is determined based on a number of factors, including experience, skills, and tenure [specific to your pay policy]. I want to focus on your pay and career path. If you’re interested in ways to grow within the company or increase your earning potential, let’s discuss that.”

This shifts the discussion from comparison to action.

Client: What if they don’t accept that answer and insist it’s unfair?

Consultant: Some employees may not be satisfied right away, and that’s okay. Reinforce that pay structures are reviewed regularly to ensure fairness.

You might say:
“I understand your concerns, and I want to make sure our pay practices are competitive and fair. While individual salaries are confidential, we regularly review our pay structure to ensure consistency. If you’d like, we can talk about what skills or performance benchmarks are used to set or change pay.”

This reassures them without making promises or disclosing confidential information.

Client: What if their frustration starts spreading to the rest of the team?

Consultant: Pay concerns can quickly become a morale issue if employees feel unheard. Proactive communication about how pay decisions are made can help.

Consider sharing general information with the team, such as:
✔ How salaries are determined (without individual details)
✔ How performance or skills impact raises, if they do.
✔ What career growth opportunities exist

You might say in a team setting:
“We know that fair and competitive pay is important, and we have structured processes to ensure consistency. If anyone has questions about career growth or pay progression, I encourage you to have a conversation with your manager.”

This reinforces transparency without opening a debate.

Client: What if their concern is valid and there is an issue with pay equity?

Consultant: If their concern exposes a legitimate issue—such as pay discrepancies that aren’t based on objective factors—you need to address it. Conduct a pay equity review and, if necessary, make adjustments.

If you do find an issue, you might say:
“We regularly review pay to ensure fairness. Based on that review, we’re making adjustments where needed. Our goal is always to have a fair and competitive pay structure.”

This shows that you take concerns seriously while handling adjustments professionally.

Client: So, the key is to acknowledge concerns, reinforce the pay structure, and redirect to individual growth?

Consultant: Exactly. Employees want to feel heard and valued, and addressing pay concerns professionally—without violating confidentiality—helps maintain trust and morale.

And if you ever need help reviewing pay structures or handling tough conversations, we’re here to support you.

Client: I feel like I’ve reached the point where I want to terminate an employee—can I legally do that, and what steps do I need to take to make sure it’s handled properly?

Consultant: Making the decision to terminate an employee is serious, and handling it correctly is crucial to protect both your organization and the employee’s rights. The key is ensuring there’s a legitimate reason, proper documentation, and a clear process to follow.

Client: We’re an at-will employer, so I can technically fire them at any time, right?

Consultant: At-will employment allows you to terminate an employee at any time, as long as it’s not for an illegal reason—such as discrimination, retaliation, or a violation of public policy. Even with at-will status, terminations should always be handled with consistency and fairness to avoid legal risks.

Before moving forward, ask:
✔ Have you documented the performance or behavior issues?
✔ Have you given the employee a fair chance to improve?
✔ Are you applying the same standard to others in similar situations?

If the answer to these is yes, you’re on the right track.

Client: I have some documentation, but it’s mostly emails and verbal warnings. Is that enough?

Consultant: Documentation should show a clear pattern of concerns and the steps taken to address them. Ideally, you should have:

• Written warnings or performance improvement plans (PIPs)
• Notes from coaching conversations
• Records of any policy violations
• Evidence that the employee was given a chance to improve
• Written documentation of notice to the employee that if they failed to improve they could loose their job.

If most of the information is verbal, summarize key conversations in a follow-up email to create a record for moving forward, and you’re not quite ready to terminate their employment.

Client: What if the employee’s performance has been inconsistent, but not bad enough for a formal write-up?

Consultant: Inconsistent performance can be a gray area. If you haven’t already, set clear expectations and provide direct feedback before making a termination decision.

Try this:
“I want to be upfront about my concerns with your performance. These areas need improvement, and I need to see consistency. Let’s outline a plan to get there.”

If there’s no sustained improvement after that, termination becomes a more defensible option.

Client: I’m ready to move forward with termination. What are the final steps I need to take?

Consultant: Once you’re certain, follow these steps:

• Review Company Policy: Ensure compliance with internal policies and legal considerations.
• Prepare Final Documentation: Include termination letters, final pay details, and any legal requirements.
• Plan the Conversation: Keep it brief, professional, and clear.
• Have a Witness Present: An HR rep or another manager should be in the room or in the virtual meeting. (In person is best.)
• Be Ready for Questions: Address final pay, benefits, and next steps.

You might say:
“We’ve had multiple discussions about [specific issues], and unfortunately, we haven’t seen the necessary improvement. As a result, today will be your last day with the company. Here are the details regarding your final paycheck and benefits.”

Keeping it direct and professional helps avoid unnecessary conflict.

Client: What if they get angry or try to argue?

Consultant: Stay calm and avoid debate. If they push back, you can say:
“I understand this is difficult news. The decision is final, and I want to focus on making this transition as smooth as possible for you.”

If the situation escalates, end the meeting by providing them the prepared documentation and letting them know they can reach out to you for any needed clarification later. If the meeting is in person, escort them to the space to gather their things. (Remember to do this with respect, minimizing their exposure to other employees)

Client: So, the key is documentation, fairness, and a structured process?

Consultant: Exactly. Terminations should be handled professionally, legally, and with dignity. If you follow the right steps, you reduce risk and ensure the process is fair for everyone involved.

And if you need help reviewing documentation or structuring the conversation, we’re here to assist.

Client: I have an employee who keeps raising the same complaints, even though we’ve looked into them multiple times and found no real issue. How do I handle this without dismissing their concerns outright?

Consultant: It’s frustrating when the same issue keeps resurfacing, especially after thorough reviews. The key is to acknowledge their concerns while setting boundaries around when a matter is considered resolved.

Client: I don’t want to shut them down, but I also don’t want to keep revisiting the same thing over and over. How do I make it clear that we’ve already addressed it?

Consultant: Start by recognizing their feelings while reinforcing the steps that have already been taken.

Try this:
“I understand that this is still on your mind, and I appreciate you bringing it to me again. We’ve reviewed this concern thoroughly and didn’t find an issue. Since we’ve already taken the appropriate steps, we need to move forward. Let’s talk about what will help you feel more comfortable with that.”

This keeps the conversation productive rather than reopening a closed case.

Client: What if they insist the issue wasn’t handled properly?

Consultant: If they believe something was missed, ask them to provide new or different information.

You might say:
“If there’s anything new that wasn’t considered before, I’m open to reviewing it. Otherwise, since we’ve already looked into this, I want to focus on how we can help you move forward.”

This shifts the discussion from rehashing old ground to problem-solving.

Client: What if they bring it up to others and try to get coworkers involved?

Consultant: If they’re continuing to raise the issue despite it being resolved, and especially if they’re trying to rally others, it’s time for a firmer conversation.

Try this:
“I’ve noticed that this concern is still coming up in discussions with others. Since we’ve addressed it, I need you to respect that decision and focus on your work. If there’s something specific that’s still affecting your ability to do your job, let’s talk about that directly.”

This sets clear expectations while giving them an opportunity to voice any current concerns.

Client: What if they just won’t let it go?

Consultant: If they continue to push the issue after it’s been formally addressed, you may need to escalate to a performance discussion.

You could say:
“We’ve reviewed this multiple times, and I need to be clear that continuing to raise the same concern without new information is becoming disruptive. If this continues, we’ll need to address it as a workplace behavior issue.”

At this point, documentation is key in case further action is required.

Client: So, the key is to acknowledge, set boundaries, and shift focus forward?

Consultant: Exactly. Show that you’ve listened, clarify that the concern has been addressed, and guide them toward moving on. If they refuse, treat it as a workplace behavior issue rather than a valid complaint.

And if you need help structuring the conversation or documenting next steps, we’re here to help.

Client: I have an employee who came to me with a complaint about a coworker but then said they don’t want me to take any action. I don’t want to ignore the issue, but I also don’t want to betray their trust. What should I do?

Consultant: This is a tricky situation. Employees sometimes bring up concerns because they want to vent, not because they want formal action. Even if they ask you not to do anything, you still have a responsibility to assess whether the issue needs to be addressed.

Client: So what do I say in the moment when they tell me they don’t want me to take action?

Consultant: Acknowledge their concern while setting expectations about your role.

You could say:
“I appreciate you trusting me with this. I want to respect your wishes, and at the same time, I have a responsibility to make sure workplace concerns are handled appropriately. Let’s talk through what’s happening and see what options make sense.”

This helps them feel heard while making it clear that some concerns require follow-up.

Client: What if it’s something small, like an annoying habit or a one-time issue?

Consultant: If it’s minor and doesn’t violate any policies, you can treat it as a coaching opportunity rather than a formal complaint.

Try this:
“If this is something that’s bothering you and isn’t a policy issue, we can talk about ways to address it directly. Have you considered speaking with your coworker about it?”

Encouraging employees to resolve small issues themselves can prevent unnecessary escalation.

Client: What if the complaint is about something serious, like harassment or safety concerns?

Consultant: If the issue involves harassment, discrimination, or workplace safety, you must act, even if the employee asks you not to.

You might say:
“I understand that you don’t want me to take action, and I want to respect your comfort level. At the same time, this is something I’m required to address to maintain a safe and respectful workplace. We’ll handle it appropriately and keep confidentiality in mind as much as possible.”

This reinforces that some complaints can’t be ignored while assuring them you’ll be discreet.

Client: What if they get upset and feel like I broke their trust?

Consultant: Transparency helps prevent that. If you set expectations upfront, they’re less likely to feel blindsided.

You could say:
“I want to be upfront about what I can and can’t keep private. If something affects workplace safety or company policies, I have to take the next steps. My goal is to handle this professionally while considering your concerns.”

This shows that your actions aren’t personal—they’re part of your responsibility as a manager.

Client: What if it’s an ongoing problem, but they still don’t want me to step in?

Consultant: If a pattern is emerging, it’s worth revisiting the conversation. The employee may eventually want help if the issue continues.

Try this:
“I know we talked about this before, and I want to check in. Is the situation improving, or would you like to explore some options for addressing it?”

This keeps the door open without forcing them into action.

Client: So, the key is balancing confidentiality, setting expectations, and knowing when I have to act?

Consultant: Exactly. Some concerns can stay private, while others require action. Being clear about that from the start helps employees feel heard while ensuring workplace issues don’t go unchecked.

And if you ever need guidance on handling tricky employee complaints, we’re here to help.

Client: I have an employee who isn’t meeting expectations, but I’m not sure why. How do I figure out if it’s a skill issue, a motivation problem, or something else?

Consultant: Identifying the root cause is the first step in fixing performance issues. Some employees struggle because they can’t do the job, while others struggle because they won’t put in the effort. Understanding the difference helps you find the right solution.

Client: Okay, where do I start?

Consultant: Start with observation. Look at patterns in their work—are they making mistakes, missing deadlines, or needing constant guidance? If so, a skills gap might be the issue. If their work is fine when they do it, but they’re inconsistent, disengaged, or uninterested, motivation could be the problem.

To get a clearer answer, ask directly:
“I’ve noticed some challenges in [specific area]. What’s getting in the way of your success?”

This opens the door for them to share what they might be struggling with.

Client: What if they say they just don’t know how to do the work?

Consultant: If it’s a skills gap, they likely need more training or clearer guidance.

You might say:
“Thanks for being honest about that. Let’s go over what resources or training might help you feel more confident in this area.”

If multiple employees are struggling with the same task, it may be a sign that your training process needs improvement.

Client: What if they know how to do the job but just aren’t putting in the effort?

Consultant: That’s a motivation issue, which often comes from disengagement, lack of recognition, or unclear career growth.

Ask:
“I know you’re capable of this, and I’ve noticed errors in your work. Do you have ideas to improve the process ?”

Sometimes, a small change—like getting their feedback on process —can reignite motivation.

Client: What if it’s not a skills or motivation issue, but something personal?

Consultant: Personal issues can impact performance, and while you don’t need all the details, you can offer support.

Try this:
“I understand that sometimes personal challenges affect work. If there’s anything we can do to support you, let’s talk about options.”

If needed, refer them to Employee Assistance Programs (EAP) or other resources.

Client: What if they don’t improve, no matter the reason?

Consultant: If skills are the issue and training hasn’t helped, they may not be the right fit for the role. If motivation is the problem and they aren’t willing to engage, performance management steps are necessary.

You might say:
“We’ve worked on solutions, and I’m not seeing the improvement needed. Let’s set clear performance expectations moving forward, and if progress doesn’t happen, we’ll need to discuss next steps.”

This ensures accountability while giving them a final opportunity to improve.

Client: So, the key is to diagnose first, provide support, and set expectations for improvement?

Consultant: Exactly. Once you know why someone is struggling, you can address it with the right approach. Training, motivation strategies, or support resources can all help—and, unfortunately, if nothing changes, holding them accountable is necessary.

And if you need help structuring a performance improvement plan, I’m here to support you.

Client: We keep losing employees before we even finish training them. It’s frustrating to invest time and resources into hiring, only to have them leave so quickly. Why is this happening, and how do we stop it?

Consultant: That’s a costly and frustrating problem. When employees leave early, it’s often a sign that expectations weren’t aligned, onboarding wasn’t engaging, or they didn’t feel connected quickly enough. The good news is there are ways to fix this.

Client: Okay, but how do I figure out what’s driving them away?

Consultant: Start by gathering feedback. Exit interviews are helpful, and they only capture people after they’ve decided to leave. Instead, try stay interviews—quick check-ins with new hires during their first 7,14, 30, 60, and 90 days.

You might say:
“We want to make sure your experience here matches what you expected. How’s it going so far? Are there any surprises—good or bad?”

This helps you spot concerns before they turn into resignations.

Client: What if they say they just found a ‘better opportunity’?

Consultant: That usually means one of two things: they weren’t fully committed to this job in the first place, or they didn’t see enough long-term potential to stay.

You could respond with:
“I appreciate your honesty. When you accepted this job, what did you hope it would offer that maybe wasn’t there?”

Their answer might reveal gaps in pay, workload, culture, or career growth that you can address for future hires.

Client: I don’t have time to hold everyone’s hand. What can I do to keep people engaged early on?

Consultant: The first few weeks set the tone. If employees feel lost, disconnected, or unsure about their decision, they’ll leave. Strengthening your onboarding process can help. We aren’t saying “hold their hand” we are staying it’s a two way street and you have to be as engaged as you want them to be.

Try these strategies:
✔ Assign a buddy or mentor for the first 90 days
✔ Make sure expectations are clear and achievable
✔ Check in regularly with a simple, “How’s training going?”

A small investment in early engagement prevents much bigger losses later.

Client: What if they’re leaving because they feel overwhelmed?

Consultant: That’s a red flag that training may not be paced well. If employees feel like they’re drinking from a fire hose, they may assume they’ll never catch up and leave before they fall behind.

You could say:
“I want to make sure our training process sets you up for success. Does the pace feel manageable, or is there anything we can adjust?”

If multiple employees feel overwhelmed, it may be time to adjust the training timeline.

Client: What about pay? Could that be the issue?

Consultant: Compensation absolutely plays a role, especially if employees leave for better pay elsewhere. If you’re seeing consistent early turnover, a pay comparison may be necessary.

You might ask:
“Did compensation factor into your decision to leave? If so, what would have made this role more competitive?”

This helps you determine if pay is a deal-breaker or if other factors are playing a bigger role.

Client: So, the key is to get feedback early, make onboarding engaging, and ensure pay is competitive?

Consultant: Exactly. Employees need to feel confident that they made the right choice. A strong first impression, clear expectations, and a supportive training experience can make all the difference.

And if you need help refining your onboarding strategy or competitive pay analysis, we’re here to support you.

Client: I have an employee who improves after coaching in one area, but then another part of their job starts slipping. It feels like I’m playing whack-a-mole with their performance. How do I help them sustain progress across all responsibilities?

Consultant: That’s a common challenge. Some employees focus so much on improving one skill that they unintentionally neglect other areas. The goal is to build consistency so progress doesn’t come at the expense of other responsibilities.

Client: Okay, but how do I address it without discouraging them?

Consultant: Acknowledge the progress they’ve made and reinforce that improvement is a process, not a one-time fix.

Try this:
“I appreciate the effort you’ve put into improving [specific area]. I’ve also noticed that as this has improved, [another area] seems to be slipping. Let’s figure out how to balance both so you can continue growing without losing ground elsewhere.”

This keeps the conversation supportive while setting the expectation that all areas need attention.

Client: What if they say they’re overwhelmed?

Consultant: That’s important to explore. If they feel stretched too thin, it may be a sign they need better time management or prioritization skills.

You might say:
“I hear that this feels like a lot, and I want to help you succeed. Let’s look at how you’re managing your workload and see if we can find ways to make it more sustainable.”

If necessary, work together to identify where they might need additional support or better structure in their workflow.

Client: Should I set up another performance improvement plan?

Consultant: Not necessarily. If they’re making progress, another formal plan might not be needed. Instead, consider shorter, structured check-ins to reinforce accountability.

You could say:
“Let’s set up brief check-ins over the next few weeks to track progress in all areas. I want to make sure we’re keeping the improvements going while also maintaining other key responsibilities.”

This approach provides ongoing guidance without making it feel like they’re in trouble.

Client: What if they start slipping again after those check-ins end?

Consultant: If the pattern continues, it may indicate a deeper issue with job fit, skill gaps, or ability to self-manage. At that point, a more structured development plan may be necessary.

Try this:
“We’ve worked on sustaining improvement in multiple areas, and I’m still seeing inconsistencies. Let’s revisit what’s working and where the challenges are so we can put a more structured plan in place.”

This shifts the conversation from correction to problem-solving.

Client: So the key is to reinforce balance, check in consistently, and adjust as needed?

Consultant: Exactly. Coaching isn’t about fixing one issue at a time—it’s about building lasting habits that lead to well-rounded success. A structured, supportive approach will help them sustain improvements without letting other responsibilities slide.

And if you ever need help fine-tuning your coaching approach, we’re here to support you.

Client: I have two employees who aren’t getting along, and it’s starting to affect the rest of the team. They’re not openly fighting, but there’s clear tension, and it’s making collaboration difficult. How do I handle this before it gets worse?

Consultant: Addressing this early is a smart move. Unresolved conflicts can spread quickly and impact productivity. The key is to understand the root cause, guide a productive conversation, and set clear expectations for professionalism.

Client: Okay, do I meet with them separately or together?

Consultant: Start with individual conversations. Speaking with each person one-on-one allows you to gather perspectives without putting them on the defensive. Keep the conversation neutral and focused on solutions.

Try this:
“I’ve noticed some tension between you and [other employee]. I want to understand what’s going on and work toward a solution that improves the working relationship.”

This approach creates a safe space for them to share while keeping the focus on resolving the issue.

Client: What if one of them just blames the other?

Consultant: It’s common for people to focus on what the other person is doing wrong. Redirect the conversation toward actions they can take to improve the situation.

You could say:
“I hear that you’re frustrated, and I appreciate your honesty. Let’s focus on what’s within your control—what can you do differently to improve communication and collaboration?”

This helps shift their mindset from blame to accountability.

Client: Once I talk to them separately, then what?

Consultant: If both individuals are open to resolution, schedule a meeting with them together. Set ground rules before the discussion begins:
✔ Keep it professional
✔ Focus on solutions, not blame
✔ Listen to understand, not just to respond

Start with a neutral statement:
“I want us to find a way to work through this so the team can function effectively. Let’s talk about how we can improve communication and collaboration moving forward.”

Framing it this way keeps the conversation productive.

Client: What if they refuse to work together?

Consultant: Unless there’s a serious policy violation or harassment involved, working together is an expectation. They don’t have to be close friends, and professionalism is non-negotiable.

You could say:
“I understand this may not be easy, and I’m not asking for friendship. I do expect professional collaboration. Let’s start with one small action that can help improve teamwork.”

Starting with a small step can make the process feel manageable and less overwhelming.

Client: What if they agree in the meeting, but nothing changes?

Consultant: Follow-through is essential. After the conversation, check in with both employees to reinforce expectations and track progress.

You might say:
“We discussed ways to improve teamwork, and I expect to see changes. I’ll follow up in [timeframe] to ensure progress and provide any needed support.”

If the conflict continues and affects performance, it may require formal intervention.

Client: This is really helpful. So, the key is to listen first, focus on solutions, and follow up?

Consultant: Exactly. Conflict happens in every workplace, and the goal isn’t to eliminate disagreements but to ensure they’re handled professionally. Clear communication and accountability will help your team move forward.

And if you need guidance on structuring these conversations, we are here to help.