Category: From the Files of HR Answers

Client: We keep losing employees before we even finish training them. It’s frustrating to invest time and resources into hiring, only to have them leave so quickly. Why is this happening, and how do we stop it?

Consultant: That’s a costly and frustrating problem. When employees leave early, it’s often a sign that expectations weren’t aligned, onboarding wasn’t engaging, or they didn’t feel connected quickly enough. The good news is there are ways to fix this.

Client: Okay, but how do I figure out what’s driving them away?

Consultant: Start by gathering feedback. Exit interviews are helpful, and they only capture people after they’ve decided to leave. Instead, try stay interviews—quick check-ins with new hires during their first 7,14, 30, 60, and 90 days.

You might say:
“We want to make sure your experience here matches what you expected. How’s it going so far? Are there any surprises—good or bad?”

This helps you spot concerns before they turn into resignations.

Client: What if they say they just found a ‘better opportunity’?

Consultant: That usually means one of two things: they weren’t fully committed to this job in the first place, or they didn’t see enough long-term potential to stay.

You could respond with:
“I appreciate your honesty. When you accepted this job, what did you hope it would offer that maybe wasn’t there?”

Their answer might reveal gaps in pay, workload, culture, or career growth that you can address for future hires.

Client: I don’t have time to hold everyone’s hand. What can I do to keep people engaged early on?

Consultant: The first few weeks set the tone. If employees feel lost, disconnected, or unsure about their decision, they’ll leave. Strengthening your onboarding process can help. We aren’t saying “hold their hand” we are staying it’s a two way street and you have to be as engaged as you want them to be.

Try these strategies:
✔ Assign a buddy or mentor for the first 90 days
✔ Make sure expectations are clear and achievable
✔ Check in regularly with a simple, “How’s training going?”

A small investment in early engagement prevents much bigger losses later.

Client: What if they’re leaving because they feel overwhelmed?

Consultant: That’s a red flag that training may not be paced well. If employees feel like they’re drinking from a fire hose, they may assume they’ll never catch up and leave before they fall behind.

You could say:
“I want to make sure our training process sets you up for success. Does the pace feel manageable, or is there anything we can adjust?”

If multiple employees feel overwhelmed, it may be time to adjust the training timeline.

Client: What about pay? Could that be the issue?

Consultant: Compensation absolutely plays a role, especially if employees leave for better pay elsewhere. If you’re seeing consistent early turnover, a pay comparison may be necessary.

You might ask:
“Did compensation factor into your decision to leave? If so, what would have made this role more competitive?”

This helps you determine if pay is a deal-breaker or if other factors are playing a bigger role.

Client: So, the key is to get feedback early, make onboarding engaging, and ensure pay is competitive?

Consultant: Exactly. Employees need to feel confident that they made the right choice. A strong first impression, clear expectations, and a supportive training experience can make all the difference.

And if you need help refining your onboarding strategy or competitive pay analysis, we’re here to support you.

Client: I have an employee who improves after coaching in one area, but then another part of their job starts slipping. It feels like I’m playing whack-a-mole with their performance. How do I help them sustain progress across all responsibilities?

Consultant: That’s a common challenge. Some employees focus so much on improving one skill that they unintentionally neglect other areas. The goal is to build consistency so progress doesn’t come at the expense of other responsibilities.

Client: Okay, but how do I address it without discouraging them?

Consultant: Acknowledge the progress they’ve made and reinforce that improvement is a process, not a one-time fix.

Try this:
“I appreciate the effort you’ve put into improving [specific area]. I’ve also noticed that as this has improved, [another area] seems to be slipping. Let’s figure out how to balance both so you can continue growing without losing ground elsewhere.”

This keeps the conversation supportive while setting the expectation that all areas need attention.

Client: What if they say they’re overwhelmed?

Consultant: That’s important to explore. If they feel stretched too thin, it may be a sign they need better time management or prioritization skills.

You might say:
“I hear that this feels like a lot, and I want to help you succeed. Let’s look at how you’re managing your workload and see if we can find ways to make it more sustainable.”

If necessary, work together to identify where they might need additional support or better structure in their workflow.

Client: Should I set up another performance improvement plan?

Consultant: Not necessarily. If they’re making progress, another formal plan might not be needed. Instead, consider shorter, structured check-ins to reinforce accountability.

You could say:
“Let’s set up brief check-ins over the next few weeks to track progress in all areas. I want to make sure we’re keeping the improvements going while also maintaining other key responsibilities.”

This approach provides ongoing guidance without making it feel like they’re in trouble.

Client: What if they start slipping again after those check-ins end?

Consultant: If the pattern continues, it may indicate a deeper issue with job fit, skill gaps, or ability to self-manage. At that point, a more structured development plan may be necessary.

Try this:
“We’ve worked on sustaining improvement in multiple areas, and I’m still seeing inconsistencies. Let’s revisit what’s working and where the challenges are so we can put a more structured plan in place.”

This shifts the conversation from correction to problem-solving.

Client: So the key is to reinforce balance, check in consistently, and adjust as needed?

Consultant: Exactly. Coaching isn’t about fixing one issue at a time—it’s about building lasting habits that lead to well-rounded success. A structured, supportive approach will help them sustain improvements without letting other responsibilities slide.

And if you ever need help fine-tuning your coaching approach, we’re here to support you.

Client: I have two employees who aren’t getting along, and it’s starting to affect the rest of the team. They’re not openly fighting, but there’s clear tension, and it’s making collaboration difficult. How do I handle this before it gets worse?

Consultant: Addressing this early is a smart move. Unresolved conflicts can spread quickly and impact productivity. The key is to understand the root cause, guide a productive conversation, and set clear expectations for professionalism.

Client: Okay, do I meet with them separately or together?

Consultant: Start with individual conversations. Speaking with each person one-on-one allows you to gather perspectives without putting them on the defensive. Keep the conversation neutral and focused on solutions.

Try this:
“I’ve noticed some tension between you and [other employee]. I want to understand what’s going on and work toward a solution that improves the working relationship.”

This approach creates a safe space for them to share while keeping the focus on resolving the issue.

Client: What if one of them just blames the other?

Consultant: It’s common for people to focus on what the other person is doing wrong. Redirect the conversation toward actions they can take to improve the situation.

You could say:
“I hear that you’re frustrated, and I appreciate your honesty. Let’s focus on what’s within your control—what can you do differently to improve communication and collaboration?”

This helps shift their mindset from blame to accountability.

Client: Once I talk to them separately, then what?

Consultant: If both individuals are open to resolution, schedule a meeting with them together. Set ground rules before the discussion begins:
✔ Keep it professional
✔ Focus on solutions, not blame
✔ Listen to understand, not just to respond

Start with a neutral statement:
“I want us to find a way to work through this so the team can function effectively. Let’s talk about how we can improve communication and collaboration moving forward.”

Framing it this way keeps the conversation productive.

Client: What if they refuse to work together?

Consultant: Unless there’s a serious policy violation or harassment involved, working together is an expectation. They don’t have to be close friends, and professionalism is non-negotiable.

You could say:
“I understand this may not be easy, and I’m not asking for friendship. I do expect professional collaboration. Let’s start with one small action that can help improve teamwork.”

Starting with a small step can make the process feel manageable and less overwhelming.

Client: What if they agree in the meeting, but nothing changes?

Consultant: Follow-through is essential. After the conversation, check in with both employees to reinforce expectations and track progress.

You might say:
“We discussed ways to improve teamwork, and I expect to see changes. I’ll follow up in [timeframe] to ensure progress and provide any needed support.”

If the conflict continues and affects performance, it may require formal intervention.

Client: This is really helpful. So, the key is to listen first, focus on solutions, and follow up?

Consultant: Exactly. Conflict happens in every workplace, and the goal isn’t to eliminate disagreements but to ensure they’re handled professionally. Clear communication and accountability will help your team move forward.

And if you need guidance on structuring these conversations, we are here to help.

Client: Every year, performance reviews feel like a minefield. Employees get anxious, some get defensive, and I feel like no one actually likes the process. How can I make this easier without losing the purpose of the review?

Consultant: You’re not alone—performance reviews tend to bring out stress in everyone, even when the feedback is positive. The key is to make reviews feel like a regular conversation, not a one-time judgment.

Client: Easier said than done! How do I get my employees to stop dreading them?

Consultant: The best way to avoid the big stress of reviews is to eliminate big surprises. If feedback is only happening once a year, of course people will feel nervous.

You might say:
“Performance reviews should just confirm what we’ve already talked about throughout the year. If anything in your review feels like a surprise, that means I haven’t done my job coaching you along the way.”

This shifts the mindset from “annual verdict” to “ongoing conversation.”

Client: Okay, but what about employees who get defensive when they hear anything negative?

Consultant: That’s natural—no one loves criticism. The trick is to make feedback feel like a tool for growth, not a punishment.

Try this approach:

Frame feedback as a path forward: “One thing that would take you to the next level is improving [specific skill]. Let’s work on that together.”

This makes it about improvement, not just critique.

Client: That’s great for individual reviews, but my whole team complains about the process itself. They think it’s a waste of time.

Consultant: Then it’s time to reframe the purpose. People check out when they don’t see the value.

Try saying:
“This isn’t just about evaluating the past—it’s about setting you up for success moving forward. What do you need from me to help you grow in your role?”

When employees see reviews as their opportunity (not just your assessment), engagement goes up.

Client: That makes sense, but I still need to rate people. How do I keep the process fair?

Consultant: Transparency is key. If ratings feel mysterious or subjective, people will question them.

Before the review, outline:
✔ How ratings are determined
✔ What “exceeds expectations” actually looks like
✔ How this connects to career growth

Then, during the review, you might say:
“Here’s why I rated you this way, and here’s what exceeding expectations would look like. Let’s talk about how you can get there.”

Client: What about the employees who are just… average? They’re doing fine, but not great. I don’t want them to think they’re not valued.

Consultant: Good point. “Meeting expectations” doesn’t mean “not good enough.” The trick is to recognize their contributions while encouraging growth.

Try saying:
“You’re a strong performer in [specific area], and the team relies on you. If you’re interested in growing into more opportunities, we can focus on [specific skill or responsibility]. Let’s talk about your interests and what that looks like.”

This way, they know they’re valued, and they also have a path forward if they want one.

Client: What if someone pushes back and disagrees with their review?

Consultant: Stay open and focused. The goal is conversation, not debate.

You could say:
“I appreciate your perspective. My goal is to help you succeed, and this feedback is meant to support that. Let’s talk through what steps we can take together to keep improving.”

If they’re still resistant, shift the focus to action:
“What would success in this area look like to you? Let’s find a way to get there.”

Client: This is really helpful. So the key is no surprises, clear expectations, and making it a two-way conversation?

Consultant: Exactly! Reviews should feel like part of ongoing growth—not an annual judgment. If you set that tone, your team will be less stressed and more engaged.

And if you need help refining your review process, we’re always here to support you.

Client: I’m tired of chasing down timesheets. Every pay period, I have to send multiple reminders, and I still end up with late or inaccurate submissions. How do I get my team to take this seriously without constantly nagging them?

Consultant: I hear you. Few things are more frustrating than scrambling for timesheets when payroll is due. The key is setting clear expectations, making the process as easy as possible, and adding some accountability so it’s their responsibility—not yours.

Client: Okay, but I feel like I already remind them a lot. What else can I do?

Consultant: First, let’s shift the mindset. Instead of making timesheets your responsibility, make it theirs. Start by setting a firm expectation.

Try this:
“Submitting accurate timesheets on time is part of your job—just like showing up to work. Moving forward, I expect everyone to submit their timesheets by [deadline] without multiple reminders. If there’s an issue, let me know before the deadline, not after.”

This makes it clear that it’s their responsibility, not something you’ll chase them for.

Client: That sounds great, but what if they still forget?

Consultant: Then it’s time to add accountability. While not paying an employee on time due to a missing timesheet is a violation in many states, discipline for failing to submit a timesheet isn’t.

You might say:
“Timesheets must be submitted on time so payroll can be processed correctly. If you don’t submit your timesheet, I’ll still have to process your pay, without your input, it may not reflect the correct hours and additional processes will be needed to correct any errors. Moving forward, repeated late or missing timesheets will result in corrective action.”

For non-exempt employees, reinforce compliance:
“Accurate timesheets are legally required. Late or incorrect submissions create compliance issues, so this is a must.”

A natural consequence—such as a written warning or requiring a meeting with you—can often be more effective than endless reminders.

Client: That makes sense, but I also need to make sure the timesheets are accurate. What’s the best way to do that?

Consultant: Accuracy comes down to two things: clear guidelines and spot-checking.

For guidelines, provide a simple checklist:

• Did you record all hours worked?
• Did you include meal and rest breaks (if required)?
• Is your overtime recorded correctly?

Then, implement spot-checks. You don’t need to audit every timesheet. Randomly reviewing a few sends the message that accuracy matters.

You might say:
“I’ll be reviewing timesheets periodically to ensure accuracy. If I find discrepancies, I’ll follow up so we can correct them. Let me know if you have any questions on what’s required.”

Client: What if someone keeps submitting them late or with errors?

Consultant: Then you treat it like any other performance issue.

Try this:
“We’ve talked about this before, and I’m still seeing late/inaccurate timesheets. Moving forward, if this continues, we’ll need to address it formally as a performance issue.”

This makes it clear that it’s an expectation, not a suggestion.

Client: What about making the process easier? Maybe people just forget because it’s annoying?

Consultant: Great point. If the process is clunky, people will put it off. Consider:

-Automated reminders (so the system, not you, does the reminding)
-A simple submission process (mobile-friendly options help)
-A shared calendar reminder (so it’s not all on you)
You might say:
“I know timesheets aren’t the most exciting task, so let’s make this easy. If you set a calendar reminder or use the automated system prompts, it’ll take two minutes instead of scrambling at the last minute.”

Client: This is really helpful. So the key is clear expectations, some accountability, and a streamlined process?

Consultant: Exactly! Set the expectation, make it easy, and follow through. That way, you’re not the timesheet babysitter, and payroll still runs smoothly.

And if you ever need help structuring a policy or handling repeat offenders, we’re here to help.

Client: I have a remote employee, and I want to make sure they’re staying productive. But I don’t want to come across like I’m micromanaging or checking up on them constantly. How do I strike the right balance?

Consultant: Great question. The key is setting clear expectations, building trust, and focusing on results while making sure you follow wage and hour laws—especially if they’re non-exempt and need to track their time accurately.

Client: Right, but I don’t want to be clock-watching. How do I set expectations without making them feel like I don’t trust them?

Consultant: Start with transparency. Let them know it’s not about tracking their every move—it’s about ensuring accountability and legal compliance.

You could say:
“I trust you to manage your time well, and since this is a remote role, we need to make sure we’re following company policies on work hours. Let’s go over expectations so we’re both clear.”

For non-exempt employees, this includes tracking their actual work time and taking required breaks for the geographic location they are completing work.

Client: That’s helpful. What’s the best way to check in without micromanaging?

Consultant: Structure is your friend here. A weekly check-in for priorities, plus quick daily or midweek updates, keeps things on track without overdoing it.

Try this:
“Let’s do a quick 15-minute check-in every Monday to go over priorities. For non-exempt staff, I’ll also need you to submit your time [frequency] so we’re compliant. If you ever run into challenges, don’t wait—reach out.”

For non-exempt employees, you might also say:
“Because of labor laws, it’s important that you’re accurately tracking all hours worked, including breaks and overtime. Let’s make sure we have a simple system that works for you.”

This ensures compliance without making them feel like they’re under a microscope.

Client: What if I start noticing signs that they’re slacking—like slow response times or missed deadlines?

Consultant: That’s when you move from assumption to conversation. Check in before jumping to conclusions.

You could say:
“I’ve noticed some delays in responses and a few missed deadlines. I want to check in—are you running into any challenges that I can help with?”

If it’s a time-tracking issue for a non-exempt employee, reinforce the importance of accurately logging work hours:
“I also want to remind you that we need to ensure your hours are correctly reported. Let’s talk through how to keep everything on track.”

Client: What if they keep missing deadlines but always have an excuse?

Consultant: That’s when you shift from conversation to accountability. Be clear about expectations and consequences.

Try this:
“I understand that things come up, and consistent delays impact the team. Moving forward, I need to see improvement in meeting deadlines. Let’s outline a plan to make that happen.”

For a non-exempt employee, you could add:
“And just a reminder—if you need to work extra time to catch up, it must be approved in advance to comply with overtime policies.”

This sets a firm and fair boundary.

Client: How do I keep them engaged so they don’t feel isolated?

Consultant: Remote employees—especially non-exempt ones—can feel disconnected. Small efforts make a big difference.

Try:

-Regular team video calls (even if they’re short)
-Encouraging casual Slack/Teams conversations
-Recognizing wins publicly
-Checking in on them—not just their work

You could say:
“I want to make sure you feel connected to the team. Let’s find ways to keep communication strong so you always feel in the loop.”

For non-exempt staff, also remind them:
“We want you engaged, and we also need to follow labor laws. If you’re working outside your scheduled hours, we need to discuss why.”

Client: That’s really helpful. So the key is setting expectations, checking in without overdoing it, and making sure non-exempt employees track their hours correctly?

Consultant: Exactly! Focus on results, not minute-by-minute activity. And for non-exempt employees, clear guidelines on hours and breaks ensure compliance and accountability.

And, if you ever need help with compliance in various locations, we’re here for you.

Client: I’ve noticed that absenteeism and tardiness are creeping up on my team. It’s not just one person—it’s becoming a pattern. How do I get things back on track without sounding like a drill sergeant?

Consultant: Good catch addressing this now. If you don’t reset expectations, this can quickly turn into “how we do things around here.” The key is to get to the root of why it’s happening before jumping straight to consequences.

Client: Yeah, but I don’t want to sound like I’m accusing anyone. What’s the best way to bring this up?

Consultant: Start with a general reset to the whole team. No one feels singled out, and it reinforces expectations.

Try this:
“I’ve noticed an increase in tardiness and absences across the team. I want to remind everyone how important it is that we’re here and ready to go on time, both for our own work and to support each other. If you’re running into challenges that are making it hard to be on time, let’s talk so we can find solutions.”

This lets employees know you’re paying attention and that you’re open to a conversation.

Client: That makes sense. But what if someone actually comes to me with a personal issue? Do I have to solve it?

Consultant: Not necessarily, listening is step one. If someone says, “I haven’t been able to pay for daycare, so I can’t drop off my kids early enough to make it in on time,” you don’t have to fix it, and you do need to acknowledge it.

You could say:
“That’s tough, and I appreciate you sharing it with me. Let’s talk about what options we might have to help, whether that’s adjusting your schedule slightly or seeing if there are any resources we can connect you with.”

This shows empathy while reinforcing that work expectations still need to be met.

Client: Okay, but what if the issue isn’t as serious? Like, someone just tells me, ‘My alarm clock broke, so I overslept.’

Consultant: Then it’s time to set a firmer boundary. Being late because of a broken alarm clock isn’t an ongoing excuse.

Try this:
“I get that things come up. Part of being reliable at work is planning for the unexpected. If your alarm isn’t working, I’d suggest setting a backup or using your phone. We need you to be proactive about getting here on time.”

It keeps it professional and doesn’t let them off the hook.

Client: What if they don’t have a ‘good reason’ at all and just keep showing up late?

Consultant: That’s when it moves from a conversation to accountability.

You could say:
“We’ve talked about the importance of being on time, and I’ve noticed that it’s still an issue. Moving forward, I need to see consistent improvement. If this continues, we’ll have to take further steps to address it.”

This lets them know you expect change—without jumping straight to discipline.

Client: And if it keeps happening?

Consultant: Then you escalate. At that point, it’s a performance issue, and formal steps are needed.

Try this:
“We’ve had multiple conversations about timeliness, and I haven’t seen the improvement we discussed. I need to be clear—if this doesn’t change, it will lead to formal corrective action.”

That way, you’re setting a clear expectation with a consequence.

Client: That makes sense. But what if the whole team is struggling, not just one or two people?

Consultant: If it’s widespread, you need to figure out why. Is burnout an issue? Are shift start times unrealistic? Are external factors—like traffic or public transportation changes—making it harder for people to get in on time?

Try an employee survey or a team check-in. Then, if needed, adjust policies—like allowing slight flexibility in start times or implementing a grace period.

You could say:
“We’ve seen an increase in tardiness, and I want to understand what’s driving it. If there are challenges making it difficult to be on time, let’s talk about possible solutions.”

This shows you’re not just laying down rules—you’re trying to fix the root cause.

Client: What if people take advantage of flexibility, though?

Consultant: That’s why any adjustments should come with clear expectations. If you allow flexibility and still see ongoing issues, you address those individually.

You might say:
“We’re open to making adjustments that work for the team. Attendance still matters. If we agree on changes, I expect everyone to meet those expectations.”

Client: This is really helpful. So, the key is setting expectations, listening to challenges, and holding people accountable?

Consultant: Exactly! If you set the tone now, you won’t have to deal with a bigger problem later. Address it early, communicate clearly, and follow through consistently.

And if you ever need help structuring tough conversations, or an employee survey, we’re here to support you.

This keeps the conversation practical, firm but fair, and aligned with your preferred Q&A format. Let me know if you’d like any refinements!

Client: Hey, I have an employee who wants a promotion, but they’re just not ready yet. I don’t want to discourage them, but I also can’t move them up right now. How do I handle this?

Consultant: Great question. The goal here is to give them a clear answer without shutting them down. You want them to walk away feeling motivated to improve—not defeated.

Client: Right, but I don’t want them to feel like I’m leading them on or just giving excuses.

Consultant: Exactly. That’s why it’s important to be honest, specific, and future-focused. Start by acknowledging their interest and ambition.

You could say:
“I appreciate your desire to grow within the company, and I want to support your development. Right now, I don’t think you’re quite ready for this promotion, but let’s talk about what skills and experience you need to get there.”

This shows that you value their aspirations while setting the stage for a constructive conversation.

Client: Okay, but what if they push back and ask, ‘Why not?’

Consultant: That’s where you need to be direct and supportive. The key is to avoid vague answers and instead focus on the specific skills, experience, or behaviors they need to develop.

You might say:
“A promotion means stepping into a role with greater responsibility. Based on what I’ve seen, there are a few areas where you need more growth before you’re ready. Let’s go through those together so we can make a plan.”

Then, give clear examples. Maybe they need stronger leadership skills, more technical knowledge, or better problem-solving abilities. Whatever it is, be specific.

Client: That makes sense. But how do I keep them from feeling like this is a dead end?

Consultant: The best way to keep them engaged is to turn this into a roadmap for growth. Set clear goals and give them actionable steps.

You could say:
“Here’s what I’d like to see over the next six months: Take the lead on [specific project], work on developing [specific skill], and get more experience in [key area]. If you can show growth in these areas, we’ll revisit this conversation.”

This makes it clear that you do see potential in them—it’s just about when, not if.

Client: What if they ask when they will be ready?

Consultant: Be honest, don’t overpromise. You can’t guarantee a timeline, and you can outline what success looks like.

Try this:
“I can’t give you an exact timeframe because it depends on progress in these areas and business needs. But if you focus on developing these skills and show consistent improvement, you’ll put yourself in a strong position for future opportunities.”

This keeps them motivated without locking you into a commitment.

Client: What if they’re really disappointed or frustrated?

Consultant: That’s natural. They might feel let down. How you handle the conversation can make all the difference.

If they seem discouraged, acknowledge their feelings while reinforcing your support:
“I know this may not be what you were hoping to hear, and I appreciate your ambition. My goal isn’t to hold you back—it’s to help set you up for success. Let’s work together to make sure you’re fully ready when the next opportunity comes.”

This helps them process the feedback while knowing you’re in their corner.

Client: That’s really helpful. So, bottom line—be direct, give specific feedback, and create a plan for growth?

Consultant: Exactly! You want them to leave the conversation feeling challenged, not shut down. When done right, this kind of feedback can actually make employees more engaged, because they know where they stand and what to work toward.

And remember—we’re here to help if you ever need guidance on building development plans.

Client: Help! Two of my employees were dating, but they broke up, and now it’s getting messy. Tension is high, productivity is dropping, and the rest of the team is feeling the impact. What do I do?

Consultant: Ah, the workplace romance fallout—it’s like watching a soap opera unfold at work, except no one’s getting paid for the drama. The key here is to address the issue directly, keep it professional, and refocus everyone on work.

Client: Right, but how do I even start the conversation? I don’t want to make things worse.

Consultant: Start with a neutral, fact-based approach. Don’t assume who’s at fault or dive into personal details. The goal is to refocus on behavior and workplace expectations, not emotions.

You could say:
“I understand that personal matters can sometimes affect work, and I’ve noticed some tension that’s impacting the team. My expectation is that personal issues remain separate from workplace interactions so we can maintain a productive environment. How can we make sure that happens?”

This acknowledges the issue without placing blame and sets the expectation that work comes first.

Client: What if one of them starts venting about the other during this conversation?

Consultant: Shut it down—gently and firmly. Your job isn’t to mediate their personal dispute; it’s to manage workplace behavior.

You can say:
“I appreciate that this is a difficult situation. My role here is to ensure a professional work environment. Let’s focus on how we move forward in the workplace.”

Redirecting the conversation keeps you from getting dragged into personal details while reinforcing expectations.

Client: What if they’re being passive-aggressive—giving each other the cold shoulder, making snarky comments, or dragging teammates into it?

Consultant: If their behavior is disrupting the team, it’s time to set clearer boundaries.

Try this:
“I need to be direct—ongoing tension is affecting the team. I expect professionalism from both of you at work. That means no negativity, no involving coworkers, and no disruptions. If this continues, we’ll need to have a different conversation about next steps.”

This makes it clear that their behavior—not the breakup—is the problem.

Client: What if one of them accuses the other of harassment?

Consultant: That’s a serious issue and needs to be handled separately. If there’s an allegation of harassment or inappropriate behavior, treat it as you would any other workplace complaint—investigate and follow your company’s policies.

You might say:
“If you feel there’s behavior that crosses the line into harassment, I want to make sure we address that appropriately. Let’s talk through what’s happening so we can handle it properly.”

Make sure to document the conversation and involve the necessary people. If you need our help with an investigation we are here. Let’s not jump to that conclusion yet.

Client: And what if one of them asks to move to a different team?

Consultant: If a transfer is possible and makes sense for business needs, it might be a good option. However, don’t rush to move someone just because they’re uncomfortable—it sets a precedent that personal conflicts can dictate staffing decisions.

You can say:
“If a team change is something you’d like to explore, we can look at options that make sense for the business. However, my priority is ensuring that, no matter where you work, professionalism is maintained.”

This keeps the focus on business needs, not personal preference.

Client: Got it. But what if things don’t improve?

Consultant: If after multiple conversations (don’t forget to document) the issue persists, you may need to escalate to performance management. Continued disruptions, negativity, or refusal to act professionally could warrant formal warnings.
Try this:
“We’ve talked about this before, and I need to be clear—this can’t continue. If workplace behavior doesn’t improve, we’ll need to move to formal corrective action.”

This sets a firm boundary while giving them one last opportunity to self-correct.

Client: This is really helpful. So, bottom line—address the behavior, not the breakup, keep it professional, and set clear expectations?

Consultant: Exactly! No one expects people to be best friends after a breakup. They do need to be professional coworkers. By focusing on workplace expectations, you can help the team move forward without unnecessary drama.

And remember—we’re always here if you need backup.