Category: From the Files of HR Answers

Client: I’ve noticed that absenteeism and tardiness are creeping up on my team. It’s not just one person—it’s becoming a pattern. How do I get things back on track without sounding like a drill sergeant?

Consultant: Good catch addressing this now. If you don’t reset expectations, this can quickly turn into “how we do things around here.” The key is to get to the root of why it’s happening before jumping straight to consequences.

Client: Yeah, but I don’t want to sound like I’m accusing anyone. What’s the best way to bring this up?

Consultant: Start with a general reset to the whole team. No one feels singled out, and it reinforces expectations.

Try this:
“I’ve noticed an increase in tardiness and absences across the team. I want to remind everyone how important it is that we’re here and ready to go on time, both for our own work and to support each other. If you’re running into challenges that are making it hard to be on time, let’s talk so we can find solutions.”

This lets employees know you’re paying attention and that you’re open to a conversation.

Client: That makes sense. But what if someone actually comes to me with a personal issue? Do I have to solve it?

Consultant: Not necessarily, listening is step one. If someone says, “I haven’t been able to pay for daycare, so I can’t drop off my kids early enough to make it in on time,” you don’t have to fix it, and you do need to acknowledge it.

You could say:
“That’s tough, and I appreciate you sharing it with me. Let’s talk about what options we might have to help, whether that’s adjusting your schedule slightly or seeing if there are any resources we can connect you with.”

This shows empathy while reinforcing that work expectations still need to be met.

Client: Okay, but what if the issue isn’t as serious? Like, someone just tells me, ‘My alarm clock broke, so I overslept.’

Consultant: Then it’s time to set a firmer boundary. Being late because of a broken alarm clock isn’t an ongoing excuse.

Try this:
“I get that things come up. Part of being reliable at work is planning for the unexpected. If your alarm isn’t working, I’d suggest setting a backup or using your phone. We need you to be proactive about getting here on time.”

It keeps it professional and doesn’t let them off the hook.

Client: What if they don’t have a ‘good reason’ at all and just keep showing up late?

Consultant: That’s when it moves from a conversation to accountability.

You could say:
“We’ve talked about the importance of being on time, and I’ve noticed that it’s still an issue. Moving forward, I need to see consistent improvement. If this continues, we’ll have to take further steps to address it.”

This lets them know you expect change—without jumping straight to discipline.

Client: And if it keeps happening?

Consultant: Then you escalate. At that point, it’s a performance issue, and formal steps are needed.

Try this:
“We’ve had multiple conversations about timeliness, and I haven’t seen the improvement we discussed. I need to be clear—if this doesn’t change, it will lead to formal corrective action.”

That way, you’re setting a clear expectation with a consequence.

Client: That makes sense. But what if the whole team is struggling, not just one or two people?

Consultant: If it’s widespread, you need to figure out why. Is burnout an issue? Are shift start times unrealistic? Are external factors—like traffic or public transportation changes—making it harder for people to get in on time?

Try an employee survey or a team check-in. Then, if needed, adjust policies—like allowing slight flexibility in start times or implementing a grace period.

You could say:
“We’ve seen an increase in tardiness, and I want to understand what’s driving it. If there are challenges making it difficult to be on time, let’s talk about possible solutions.”

This shows you’re not just laying down rules—you’re trying to fix the root cause.

Client: What if people take advantage of flexibility, though?

Consultant: That’s why any adjustments should come with clear expectations. If you allow flexibility and still see ongoing issues, you address those individually.

You might say:
“We’re open to making adjustments that work for the team. Attendance still matters. If we agree on changes, I expect everyone to meet those expectations.”

Client: This is really helpful. So, the key is setting expectations, listening to challenges, and holding people accountable?

Consultant: Exactly! If you set the tone now, you won’t have to deal with a bigger problem later. Address it early, communicate clearly, and follow through consistently.

And if you ever need help structuring tough conversations, or an employee survey, we’re here to support you.

This keeps the conversation practical, firm but fair, and aligned with your preferred Q&A format. Let me know if you’d like any refinements!

Client: Hey, I have an employee who wants a promotion, but they’re just not ready yet. I don’t want to discourage them, but I also can’t move them up right now. How do I handle this?

Consultant: Great question. The goal here is to give them a clear answer without shutting them down. You want them to walk away feeling motivated to improve—not defeated.

Client: Right, but I don’t want them to feel like I’m leading them on or just giving excuses.

Consultant: Exactly. That’s why it’s important to be honest, specific, and future-focused. Start by acknowledging their interest and ambition.

You could say:
“I appreciate your desire to grow within the company, and I want to support your development. Right now, I don’t think you’re quite ready for this promotion, but let’s talk about what skills and experience you need to get there.”

This shows that you value their aspirations while setting the stage for a constructive conversation.

Client: Okay, but what if they push back and ask, ‘Why not?’

Consultant: That’s where you need to be direct and supportive. The key is to avoid vague answers and instead focus on the specific skills, experience, or behaviors they need to develop.

You might say:
“A promotion means stepping into a role with greater responsibility. Based on what I’ve seen, there are a few areas where you need more growth before you’re ready. Let’s go through those together so we can make a plan.”

Then, give clear examples. Maybe they need stronger leadership skills, more technical knowledge, or better problem-solving abilities. Whatever it is, be specific.

Client: That makes sense. But how do I keep them from feeling like this is a dead end?

Consultant: The best way to keep them engaged is to turn this into a roadmap for growth. Set clear goals and give them actionable steps.

You could say:
“Here’s what I’d like to see over the next six months: Take the lead on [specific project], work on developing [specific skill], and get more experience in [key area]. If you can show growth in these areas, we’ll revisit this conversation.”

This makes it clear that you do see potential in them—it’s just about when, not if.

Client: What if they ask when they will be ready?

Consultant: Be honest, don’t overpromise. You can’t guarantee a timeline, and you can outline what success looks like.

Try this:
“I can’t give you an exact timeframe because it depends on progress in these areas and business needs. But if you focus on developing these skills and show consistent improvement, you’ll put yourself in a strong position for future opportunities.”

This keeps them motivated without locking you into a commitment.

Client: What if they’re really disappointed or frustrated?

Consultant: That’s natural. They might feel let down. How you handle the conversation can make all the difference.

If they seem discouraged, acknowledge their feelings while reinforcing your support:
“I know this may not be what you were hoping to hear, and I appreciate your ambition. My goal isn’t to hold you back—it’s to help set you up for success. Let’s work together to make sure you’re fully ready when the next opportunity comes.”

This helps them process the feedback while knowing you’re in their corner.

Client: That’s really helpful. So, bottom line—be direct, give specific feedback, and create a plan for growth?

Consultant: Exactly! You want them to leave the conversation feeling challenged, not shut down. When done right, this kind of feedback can actually make employees more engaged, because they know where they stand and what to work toward.

And remember—we’re here to help if you ever need guidance on building development plans.

Client: Help! Two of my employees were dating, but they broke up, and now it’s getting messy. Tension is high, productivity is dropping, and the rest of the team is feeling the impact. What do I do?

Consultant: Ah, the workplace romance fallout—it’s like watching a soap opera unfold at work, except no one’s getting paid for the drama. The key here is to address the issue directly, keep it professional, and refocus everyone on work.

Client: Right, but how do I even start the conversation? I don’t want to make things worse.

Consultant: Start with a neutral, fact-based approach. Don’t assume who’s at fault or dive into personal details. The goal is to refocus on behavior and workplace expectations, not emotions.

You could say:
“I understand that personal matters can sometimes affect work, and I’ve noticed some tension that’s impacting the team. My expectation is that personal issues remain separate from workplace interactions so we can maintain a productive environment. How can we make sure that happens?”

This acknowledges the issue without placing blame and sets the expectation that work comes first.

Client: What if one of them starts venting about the other during this conversation?

Consultant: Shut it down—gently and firmly. Your job isn’t to mediate their personal dispute; it’s to manage workplace behavior.

You can say:
“I appreciate that this is a difficult situation. My role here is to ensure a professional work environment. Let’s focus on how we move forward in the workplace.”

Redirecting the conversation keeps you from getting dragged into personal details while reinforcing expectations.

Client: What if they’re being passive-aggressive—giving each other the cold shoulder, making snarky comments, or dragging teammates into it?

Consultant: If their behavior is disrupting the team, it’s time to set clearer boundaries.

Try this:
“I need to be direct—ongoing tension is affecting the team. I expect professionalism from both of you at work. That means no negativity, no involving coworkers, and no disruptions. If this continues, we’ll need to have a different conversation about next steps.”

This makes it clear that their behavior—not the breakup—is the problem.

Client: What if one of them accuses the other of harassment?

Consultant: That’s a serious issue and needs to be handled separately. If there’s an allegation of harassment or inappropriate behavior, treat it as you would any other workplace complaint—investigate and follow your company’s policies.

You might say:
“If you feel there’s behavior that crosses the line into harassment, I want to make sure we address that appropriately. Let’s talk through what’s happening so we can handle it properly.”

Make sure to document the conversation and involve the necessary people. If you need our help with an investigation we are here. Let’s not jump to that conclusion yet.

Client: And what if one of them asks to move to a different team?

Consultant: If a transfer is possible and makes sense for business needs, it might be a good option. However, don’t rush to move someone just because they’re uncomfortable—it sets a precedent that personal conflicts can dictate staffing decisions.

You can say:
“If a team change is something you’d like to explore, we can look at options that make sense for the business. However, my priority is ensuring that, no matter where you work, professionalism is maintained.”

This keeps the focus on business needs, not personal preference.

Client: Got it. But what if things don’t improve?

Consultant: If after multiple conversations (don’t forget to document) the issue persists, you may need to escalate to performance management. Continued disruptions, negativity, or refusal to act professionally could warrant formal warnings.
Try this:
“We’ve talked about this before, and I need to be clear—this can’t continue. If workplace behavior doesn’t improve, we’ll need to move to formal corrective action.”

This sets a firm boundary while giving them one last opportunity to self-correct.

Client: This is really helpful. So, bottom line—address the behavior, not the breakup, keep it professional, and set clear expectations?

Consultant: Exactly! No one expects people to be best friends after a breakup. They do need to be professional coworkers. By focusing on workplace expectations, you can help the team move forward without unnecessary drama.

And remember—we’re always here if you need backup.

Client: Hey, I’ve got employees coming to me saying it’s unfair that one of their coworkers gets to bring a service animal to work. I know I can’t share personal medical details, but how do I address their concerns without making things worse?

Consultant: This is a common challenge. People notice when policies seem different for some employees, and without the full picture, they may feel like there’s favoritism. The key is to reinforce company policy, educate employees on accommodations, and avoid discussing personal details.

Client: Right, but they’re asking why this person gets to bring their dog when they can’t bring theirs. How do I explain without saying ‘it’s a disability thing’?

Consultant: Keep it broad and policy-focused. You don’t have to get into specifics about why the employee has a service animal—just that the company follows legal accommodation requirements.

You might say:
“We follow the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) and other applicable laws regarding accommodations. When an employee has an approved accommodation, including a service animal, it’s part of ensuring equal access to the workplace. These decisions are handled confidentially, and we appreciate everyone respecting that process.”

This keeps the focus on compliance and respect rather than individual cases.

Client: That’s fine, but what if they keep pushing and say it’s still unfair?

Consultant: It helps to shift the conversation from fairness to workplace inclusivity.

You can say:

“Accommodations aren’t about giving special privileges—they’re about ensuring everyone can do their job effectively. Just like someone might need an ergonomic chair for medical reasons, a service animal is a necessary support tool for some employees.”

Most people understand once they realize it’s not about personal preference, but a legitimate workplace need.

Client: What if another employee has allergies or a fear of dogs? Then what?

Consultant: That’s where balancing accommodations comes in. If an employee has a medical concern, they can also request an accommodation. You don’t have to choose one over the other—you just need to find a workable solution.

You can say:
“If you have concerns about the service animal, whether it’s allergies, fear, or another issue, let’s discuss how we can make sure you’re comfortable while also maintaining a respectful and legally compliant workplace.”

That way, you’re addressing their concern while reinforcing that the service animal isn’t negotiable.

Client: That’s a good approach. But what if people just don’t like having a dog in the office and want it gone?

Consultant: Preferences and personal opinions aren’t the same as workplace needs. If employees raise concerns that aren’t tied to a legitimate issue (like allergies or safety), the best approach is to remind them that accommodations are a normal part of a diverse workplace.

Try this:
“I understand that this may be new for some of you, but service animals are a recognized accommodation under the law. Our goal is to create a workplace where everyone can do their best work, and accommodations are part of that commitment.”

It’s a firm and professional way to set expectations.

Client: That helps a lot. So basically, focus on policy, offer solutions if needed, but don’t get into specifics?

Consultant: Exactly. Keep it factual, keep it fair, and keep personal details out of it. That way, you maintain privacy while also setting clear expectations for workplace respect.

And if you ever need help navigating specific situations, we’re here to support you.

Client: Hey, I have a tricky situation. One of my employees is taking frequent bathroom breaks, and it’s affecting their productivity. I don’t want to be insensitive, but I also need to make sure work is getting done. What should I do?

Consultant: I hear you. You want to be fair, and you need to manage workflow. This situation requires a balance between respecting the employee’s needs and addressing the impact on productivity. Let’s break it down.

Client: Okay, how do I even begin this conversation without making it uncomfortable?

Consultant: First, take a step back and look at the pattern. Is this a sudden change, or has it been ongoing? Is it affecting deadlines or creating an imbalance in workload for others? Once you have a clear understanding, approach the conversation from a place of curiosity rather than accusation.

What you can say:
“I’ve noticed you’ve been away from your workstation more frequently than usual. I want to check in to see if everything is okay and if there’s anything I can do to support you.”

This keeps the conversation open-ended rather than immediately making it about productivity concerns.

Client: What if they say it’s a medical issue? Am I even allowed to ask about that?

Consultant: You can’t ask for personal medical details, you can focus on the impact of their absences on work. If they voluntarily mention a medical condition, listen and proceed with sensitivity.

If they hint at a health-related issue, you can say:
“I understand that personal health matters can sometimes affect work. If there’s something we should be aware of, we can explore possible accommodations. Let me know how we can support you.”

This signals that you’re willing to work with them while keeping the focus on performance.

Client: What if it’s not a medical issue and they just keep taking too many breaks?

Consultant: Then it’s time to shift the conversation to expectations. Keep it factual and professional.

You might say:
“I understand that everyone needs breaks, but I’ve noticed that the time away is impacting work. Let’s discuss how we can ensure that tasks are completed while still allowing the breaks you need.”

This gives the employee room to propose a solution. Maybe they don’t realize the impact their breaks are having or they have a reason that can be easily addressed.

Client: So, should I start tracking their bathroom breaks?

Consultant: No, that’s a quick way to create distrust. Instead, focus on performance outcomes rather than micromanaging time away.

For example, you could say:
“Regardless of break times, we need to ensure deadlines are met and responsibilities are covered. Let’s work together to figure out how we can balance this.”

This shifts the focus from where they are to what they are accomplishing.

Client: What if the conversation doesn’t help and they keep taking excessive breaks?

Consultant: If performance continues to suffer, then it becomes a formal performance issue. At that point, you may need to document the impact and set expectations for improvement.

You can say:
“I want to be clear—this isn’t about limiting necessary breaks, and we need to find a way to ensure productivity meets expectations. If we can’t find a balance, we may need to explore further steps to address this.”

This opens the door to progressive discipline if the behavior doesn’t change.

Client: That’s helpful. I don’t want to be the ‘bathroom police,’ but I also need my team to be accountable.

Consultant: Exactly. The key is to focus on solutions, not surveillance. Approach the situation with professionalism, flexibility, and clear expectations. Most employees will appreciate the conversation when it’s framed as a way to support both them and the team.

And if you ever need to navigate a more complex case, we’re here to help.

Client: I need help. The topic of pronouns has come up in our workplace, and I want to ensure everyone feels respected. But some employees are unfamiliar or even uncomfortable with the idea. How do I address this without making things worse?

Consultant: Great question—and you’re not alone in asking it. Pronouns can feel like a tricky topic to navigate, but the key is to approach it with understanding and clarity. The goal here isn’t to make anyone uncomfortable—it’s to build a culture of respect where everyone feels seen.

Client: Okay, so where do I start? Some employees probably don’t even know what this is about.

Consultant: Start with why it matters. Explain that using someone’s correct pronouns is about basic respect and inclusion—much like pronouncing someone’s name properly. It’s not about forcing change; it’s about creating a welcoming environment.

You could say:
“We want a workplace where everyone feels respected. Using someone’s correct pronouns is one small but meaningful way to show that respect.”

Client: That makes sense, but I’m worried about resistance. Some employees might say, ‘I don’t see why this is necessary.’

Consultant: That’s common, and it usually comes from unfamiliarity. Frame this as an opportunity to learn, not a mandate. Resistance often fades when people understand why pronouns matter.

Here are some actions you can take:

• Offer short, optional training sessions about gender identity and pronouns.
• Share resources like articles or guides on why pronouns are important.
• Encourage leaders to model behavior by sharing their pronouns when introducing themselves.

For example:
“If this topic feels new to you, that’s okay—it’s new to many people. This is an opportunity for all of us to learn how to show respect to one another in small but important ways.”

Client: Okay, but I don’t want to put anyone on the spot. How do I normalize pronouns without making it awkward?

Consultant: That’s a great point. You want to normalize pronouns, not spotlight people. Leaders can model the behavior naturally by introducing themselves with their pronouns, like: “Hi, I’m Alex, and I use she/her pronouns.”  Make it clear that sharing pronouns is optional. No one should feel forced.

What you can say:
“You’re welcome to share your pronouns if you’re comfortable, but it’s not required. Our goal is to create an environment where everyone feels respected.”

Client: What about mistakes? If someone gets it wrong, won’t that create tension?

Consultant: Mistakes happen—and the key is to handle them with grace. If you or someone else uses the wrong pronoun, the best approach is to correct it quickly and move on. Over-apologizing can actually make things more uncomfortable.

For example:
“Oops, I meant he/him. Thanks for catching that.”

What you can say to your team:
“We’re all learning, and mistakes are okay. What matters is that we correct ourselves and keep improving.”

Client: What if someone refuses to use a coworker’s pronouns? I want to be understanding, but there has to be a line.

Consultant: You’re right—respect isn’t optional. While education and understanding are key, there comes a point where refusal to respect pronouns is no longer about discomfort; it’s a performance or conduct issue.

You might say:
“We don’t all have to agree on everything, but we do have to treat each other with respect. That includes using the names and pronouns our coworkers share with us.”

Make it clear that ongoing refusal won’t be tolerated, just like any other behavior that undermines a respectful workplace.

Client: Got it. So, what’s the overall message I should be sending to my team?

Consultant: The message is simple: this is about respect and inclusion, not perfection.

You could wrap it up with something like:
“We’re committed to creating a workplace where everyone feels seen and respected. If you have questions or feel unsure about this, let’s talk. Learning and growing together is what matters most.”

Client: That’s a good approach. It feels respectful and balanced.

Consultant: Exactly. By leading with understanding, normalizing the practice, and holding boundaries around respect, you can create a culture where everyone feels valued—without unnecessary tension.

And remember, we’re always here to help you navigate these conversations.

Client: Hey, I’ve got a bit of a tricky situation on my hands. Some employees have been coming to me, complaining that they’re being left out because they’re not invited to lunch or after-hours activities. Now they want me to fix it. What do I do?

Consultant: The “Why wasn’t I invited?” conundrum. It’s like being back in high school, except now you’re the principal, and everyone expects you to solve their social dilemmas. First, let me say, I feel for you. Navigating workplace dynamics can sometimes feel like you’re hosting a never-ending reality TV show.

Client: Thanks, I appreciate that. It’s just so awkward. I don’t want anyone to feel excluded, but I’m not sure how to handle something like this.

Consultant: Totally understandable. The first thing to remember is that while you can foster a positive work culture, you can’t force friendships. It’s not your job to make sure everyone is best buddies outside of work, and you do want to create an environment where everyone feels included and respected. So, let’s start by addressing the complaints.

Have an open conversation with the employees who feels left out. You might say, “I understand you’re feeling excluded, and that’s never a good feeling. Let’s talk about what’s happening and how we can ensure everyone feels welcome at work.” This shows that you’re taking their concerns seriously without promising to play social director.

Client: That makes sense. But what if they’re expecting me to make everyone hang out together?

Consultant: This is where you set some boundaries. You can explain that while you can encourage a welcoming work environment, after-hours activities are voluntary and not something you can or should control. You might say, “While I can’t dictate how people spend their time outside of work, I do want to make sure our work environment is inclusive and that everyone feels they can participate in group activities during work hours.”

This helps them understand the distinction between workplace inclusion and personal time. It also opens the door to discussing ways to make work-related activities more inclusive without stepping on anyone’s personal time.

Client: But what if they’re still upset about not being invited to lunch or happy hours? How do I keep this from becoming a bigger issue?

Consultant: If they’re still upset, it’s time to shift the focus to what can be done within the scope of the workplace. You could suggest organizing more inclusive events that happen during work hours, like team lunches or coffee breaks where everyone is invited. For example, you might say, “Let’s plan a monthly team lunch where everyone’s invited. That way, we can all spend time together and no one feels left out.”

This gives them a chance to participate in group activities without crossing into the territory of personal time. Plus, it’s a great way to build team cohesion. Just make sure these events are genuinely inclusive and that everyone knows they’re welcome.

Client: That sounds like a good idea. But what if the core issue is that certain people just don’t seem to click with the rest of the team?

Consultant: A “chemistry” problem. It’s true that not everyone will naturally click with everyone else, and that’s okay. It’s important to acknowledge this and help your employees understand that it’s not a reflection of their worth. You might say, “It’s normal for different people to have different interests and friendships, and that doesn’t mean you’re not valued as part of the team.”

Encourage them to communicate their desire to participate, find common ground with their coworkers, perhaps by suggesting they initiate some inclusive activities themselves. Maybe they can organize a game or a lunch where everyone’s invited, rather than waiting for an invitation. This not only empowers them it could help them take ownership of their social experience at work.

Client: But what if they just want me to fix it and don’t want to take any steps themselves?

Consultant: That’s where you need to gently remind them of the limits of your role. You can’t force friendships, and it’s not realistic to expect you to manage social dynamics outside of work. You might say, “I’m here to support you in feeling included at work, it’s also important for you to take some steps to build connections. I can help facilitate that, and it’s a two-way street.”

Encourage them to step out of their comfort zone a bit. It might feel uncomfortable at first, and it’s often the best way to build relationships. And who knows? They might find they have more in common with their coworkers than they realized.

Client: That’s a good point. But what if their complaints start affecting the team’s morale? I don’t want this to turn into a bigger issue.

Consultant: If it’s starting to affect the team’s morale, it’s time to address it head-on. Have a team meeting to reinforce the importance of inclusivity and respect within the workplace. You might say, “We all bring different strengths to the team, and it’s important that everyone feels respected and included at work. Let’s focus on making sure our work environment is positive for everyone.”

This sets the tone for how you expect the team to interact and shows that you’re committed to maintaining a healthy work culture. At the same time, encourage open communication and let everyone know they can come to you with concerns—just be clear that you expect those concerns to be constructive and focused on the work environment.

Client: What if they still feel like they’re being left out, even after all of this? Do I need to intervene more directly?

Consultant: If they still feel left out, it might be time for a one-on-one conversation to dig a little deeper. You could say, “I want to make sure you feel included and valued at work. Let’s talk about what specifically is making you feel left out and how we can address it together.”

Sometimes, it’s not really about the social activities, rather a deeper feeling of being undervalued or disconnected. If that’s the case, focus on finding ways to help them feel more engaged with their work and connected to the team during work hours. Maybe there’s a project they could lead or a role they could take on that would make them feel more integral to the team.

Client: That makes sense. So, it’s about balancing empathy with setting realistic expectations?

Consultant: Exactly. You want to show that you care about their feelings and want them to feel included, and you need to set boundaries about what you can control. The workplace should be inclusive and welcoming, after-hours activities are a personal choice. By fostering a positive work environment and encouraging inclusive activities during work hours, you’re doing your part. The rest is up to them.

Client: Thanks, this really helps. Any final words of wisdom?

Consultant: Just this: it’s important to remember that you can’t be everyone’s best friend, and you can’t force others to be, either. Your job is to create a positive, inclusive work environment where everyone feels respected and valued. If some employees want to socialize outside of work, that’s great. It’s not something you can—or should—control. Focus on making work a place where everyone feels like part of the team, and the rest will usually fall into place.

We are here to help anytime. Thanks for the conversation.

Client: Hey, I need your advice on something sticky. One of my employees just came to me and said they’ll leave if they don’t get a pay raise. The problem is, the raise they’re asking for is totally out of alignment with our internal pay equity. What should I do?

Consultant: The “raise or I walk” threat. It’s like being asked to pick between your favorite child and your prized pet—you don’t want to lose either, and you also can’t just give in to demands that upset the balance at home (or in this case, the office). We can help you navigate this with grace and maybe even a little humor.

Client: Great, because I’m really not sure how to handle this. I want to keep them, but I also can’t just blow up our pay structure to make one person happy.

Consultant: Exactly. The first thing to remember is that threats like this can be a sign of something deeper. Maybe this employee feels undervalued, or maybe they’ve heard through the grapevine that someone else got a raise and now they want one too. It’s important to get to the bottom of what’s really going on before making any decisions.

Start by having a calm, open conversation with them. You might say, “I appreciate you coming to me with your concerns, and I’d like to understand more about what’s driving this request. Let’s talk about what’s on your mind.” This gives them a chance to air their grievances without you immediately feeling like you’re cornered into making a decision.

Client: Okay, but what if they just keep pushing for the raise? They’re pretty adamant about it.

Consultant: If they’re still stuck on the raise, it’s time to bring out the facts—and I mean the hard numbers. Explain your company’s approach to pay equity and how you determine salaries. You could say, “We’re committed to maintaining a fair and equitable pay structure across the company. Your request is outside of the range we’ve established to ensure everyone is paid fairly for their role and experience.”

This is where you need to be transparent about how raises are determined. If they’re performing at a high level, let them know you recognize that and explain how that could lead to a raise within the established structure—just not the one they’re demanding. It’s about showing them that the process is consistent for everyone.

Client: But what if they threaten to leave again? How do I keep the conversation productive?

Consultant: Here’s where you turn the conversation around and ask some questions of your own. You might say, “I hear that this raise is important to you, and I want to understand more about what’s driving this decision. What are your long-term goals here, and how can we help you achieve them within our current structure?”

This does two things: First, it shifts the focus from the immediate demand to their future at the company, which could reveal underlying issues like career development or feeling undervalued. Second, it gives you a chance to explore other ways to satisfy their needs—like offering additional responsibilities, career growth opportunities, or non-monetary benefits that might align more closely with their goals.

Client: Okay, that’s helpful. But what if they’re still set on the raise and nothing else seems to matter? Do I just let them go?

Consultant: If it comes down to that, you have to weigh the pros and cons. Sometimes, an employee might be bluffing, thinking the threat of leaving will force your hand. If you’ve laid out the reasons why you can’t grant the raise and offered alternatives, and they’re still not budging, you need to consider what’s best for the business.

You might say, “I understand your position, and we need to maintain consistency in our pay structure. If this is a deal-breaker for you, I respect your decision, and I will wish you well if you resign.”

It’s never easy. Sometimes letting someone go—if they’re unwilling to work within the established system—is the best course of action. It’s about protecting the integrity of your pay equity and the morale of your team. If word gets out that one person got a huge raise by threatening to leave, you’ll have a line outside your door in no time!

Client: That’s true. But what if I really want to keep this person? They’re valuable and losing them would hurt the team.

Consultant: If they’re truly valuable and you want to explore ways to keep them, which result in a raise, you will likely be giving raises elsewhere also. Pay Equity isn’t a choice, it’s risk mitigation against illegal discrimination. Their value would need to offset all of the costs, assessment of changes to policy systems, training, processes, and the actual raise as well as the raises to others.

Client: What if I just can’t meet their demands, and they do leave? How do I manage the fallout?

Consultant: First, don’t panic. Employees leave for various reasons, and while it’s unfortunate, it’s also an opportunity to bring in fresh talent. If they decide to go, focus on a smooth transition. You might say, “I’m sorry to see you go, and I respect your decision. Let’s work together to ensure a smooth handover so the team can continue to thrive.”

Then, take a step back and assess what this situation has taught you. Were there signs earlier that this employee felt undervalued? How can you improve pay communication or career development to prevent similar situations? Use this as a learning experience to strengthen your team and processes.

Client: I guess that’s the best I can do. Any final words of wisdom?

Consultant: Just remember: it’s all about balance. While you want to retain your top talent, you can’t sacrifice the integrity of your pay structure or risk a discrimination lawsuit. Be empathetic and be clear. If you stick to your principles while showing you’re willing to work with employees on other solutions, you’ll build a strong, loyal team—and minimize those awkward “raise or I’m out” ultimatums in the future.

We are here to help anytime. Thanks for the conversation.

Client: Hey, I’ve got a tough situation and need some guidance. One of our employees has a serious illness. They’ve used up all their protected leave and paid time off, but they want to keep working. The problem is, they’re not meeting expectations. What should I do?

Consultant: That’s a tricky one. It’s like trying to juggle flaming torches while riding a unicycle—there’s a lot going on, and it’s easy to get burned. First off, I’m sorry you’re in this situation. Balancing compassion with business needs is one of the hardest parts of management. Don’t worry, we can navigate this together.

Client: Thanks, I appreciate it. I want to be supportive, but at the same time, I have to think about the team and the work that’s not getting done. Where do I even start?

Consultant: Let’s start by acknowledging the human element here. It’s important to approach this with empathy. The employee is dealing with something really difficult, and the fact that they want to keep working shows they’re committed. That doesn’t mean you can ignore the impact on the business. You’ve got to find a balance between supporting them and keeping things running smoothly.

The first step is to have an honest, compassionate conversation with the employee. You might say something like, “I can see how much you want to keep contributing, and I admire your dedication. We need to talk about how things are going and what we can do to support you while also making sure the work gets done.”

Client: Okay, but what if they’re really struggling and just can’t meet the expectations? How do I handle that?

Consultant: This is where things get delicate. You need to assess whether there are reasonable accommodations that could help them meet expectations. Accommodations might include things like adjusting their workload, providing flexible hours, or allowing them to work from home if that’s possible. The key here is “reasonable”—you want to help them, and you need to make sure the accommodation doesn’t put undue strain on the rest of the team. This step is key in meeting the organization obligations related to the American’s with Disabilities Act (ADA.)

You could say, “Let’s explore what adjustments we can make to help you succeed. We want to support you, and we need to be realistic about what’s possible given the current situation.” This keeps the conversation supportive and grounded in the reality of the work that needs to be done.

Client: But what if we’ve already tried accommodations and they’re still not meeting expectations? At what point do I need to make a tougher decision?

Consultant: If you’ve tried to make accommodations and the employee still isn’t able to meet the job’s essential functions, it might be time to consider a more difficult conversation. This doesn’t mean you’re giving up on them, rather that you need to look at the bigger picture. You could say something like, “We’ve tried several adjustments, and we see this remains challenging and you are not meeting the job’s requirements. Let’s talk about what other options might be available.”

Options might include a temporary unpaid leave of absence, a reduced role, or even discussing whether there’s another position within the company that might be a better fit given their current situation (these are also parts of the ADA). This is where your empathy really needs to shine—you want them to know you care about their well-being, even if the current arrangement isn’t working.

Client: What if they insist on staying in their current role, even though they can’t handle it? I don’t want to seem like I’m pushing them out, but the team is starting to feel the strain.

Consultant: This is a tough love moment. You need to be clear and honest while still being kind. It’s perfectly okay to say, “I understand that you want to stay in your role, and we have to consider the impact on the entire team. The current situation isn’t sustainable, and we need to find a solution that works for everyone.”

If they’re adamant about staying, you might need to set some clear, measurable expectations and timelines. For example, “Let’s agree on some specific goals for the next few weeks. We’ll reassess at that point to see if things are improving.” This gives them a fair chance to improve, and also sets the stage for a more serious conversation if things don’t get better.

Client: And what if, after all of that, they’re still not meeting expectations? Do I have to consider termination?
Consultant: If it comes to that, it’s important to approach it with as much sensitivity as possible. Termination should always be a last resort, especially in a situation like this. If the employee isn’t able to perform the essential functions of their job despite accommodations and you’ve exhausted other options, it may be the only viable path forward.

When having that conversation, frame it in terms of the needs of the business while acknowledging the effort the employee has put in. You could say something like, “I know how hard you’ve worked to try and make this work, and I appreciate your dedication. Unfortunately, we’ve reached a point where the current situation isn’t working for the business, and we need to make a difficult decision.”

Make sure you’re offering support, whether that’s in the form of severance, help with applying for disability benefits, or even offering to write a strong reference if they’re capable of working in a different role elsewhere. It’s about balancing compassion with the reality of the business needs.

Client: That makes sense, but it’s still really hard. How do I make sure I’m doing this the right way legally and ethically?

Consultant: Great question, and it’s crucial to get this right. Make sure you’ve touched base with an employment attorney to review your process. You want to be sure you’re complying with all relevant laws—like the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) and any applicable state laws—and that you’re documenting everything thoroughly. We can certainly outline the steps we are recommending for you. That might minimize the cost of the attorney.

Document every conversation, every accommodation offered, and every performance issue. This isn’t just to cover yourself legally—it’s also a way to ensure you’re being transparent throughout the process. You might say, “We’ve kept careful records of our discussions and the steps we’ve taken to support you, and we want to make sure everything is clear.”

Client: Thanks, this helps. It’s just such a difficult balance to strike between being compassionate and keeping the business running.

Consultant: It is, and there’s no perfect formula. Approaching this with empathy, clear communication, and a focus on finding workable solutions, you’re doing the best you can in a tough situation. Remember, your goal is to support the employee while also ensuring the business can continue to function effectively. Sometimes that means making hard decisions. If you handle it with care, you can navigate this without losing your humanity—or your sanity.

Client: I appreciate your help. Any final advice?

Consultant: Just this: remember that you’re dealing with a person who’s going through a tough time, and you’re responsible for the well-being of your entire team and the business. Approach every conversation with kindness, and don’t shy away from the tough decisions if they’re necessary. It’s a balancing act. With the right approach, you can find a solution that respects everyone involved.

We are here to help anytime. Thanks for the conversation.

Client: Hey, I need your advice. We’re having a hard time hiring right now, and on top of that, we’ve got a few employees who don’t show up, don’t call, and are regularly late. What should we do?*

Consultant: The “no-show, no-call, late-to-the-party” scenario. It’s like trying to run a marathon with one shoe missing. I get it—right now, hiring new people feels like trying to catch a unicorn, and you’re left dealing with the folks who are here, but not really *here*, if you know what I mean. We’ve got some strategies to help you manage this without losing your sanity.

Client: Yeah, I’m at my wit’s end. We can’t afford to lose people, and this behavior is driving everyone nuts. What’s the first step?

Consultant: First things first: it’s time to get clear on expectations. You’d be surprised how often employees don’t even realize that their behavior is a big deal—especially if it hasn’t been directly addressed. You need to make sure everyone understands what’s expected of them. That means attendance policies, the importance of communication, and the consequences of failing to show up.

You could start by having a sit-down with the whole team—or at least those who are regularly MIA—and spell it out. Something like, “We’re all in this together, and we need everyone to pull their weight. Being on time and letting us know if you can’t make it is crucial for keeping things running smoothly.” Keep it straightforward, but don’t be afraid to let them know this is serious business.

Client: Okay, but what if they just keep doing it? We’ve talked to them before, but nothing seems to change.

Consultant: The repeat offenders. This is where consequences come into play. It’s not enough to just have a policy; you have to enforce it. If someone is continually late or not showing up, there needs to be a follow-up. The key here is consistency. If they know they can get away with it without repercussions, they’ll keep pushing the boundaries.

You might say, “We’ve talked about this before, and it’s still happening. We need to address this now to prevent further issues.” Lay out what the next steps are if the behavior doesn’t change—whether that’s a formal warning, a write-up, or some other action. The goal is to show that this isn’t something you’re going to ignore.

Client: But what if they push back? What if they say they have reasons or that it’s unfair?

Consultant: Push back is almost guaranteed, especially if they’re not used to being held accountable. The trick is to be empathetic and firm. If someone says they’re having trouble getting to work on time because of personal issues, you can listen and acknowledge that life happens— also reiterate that their attendance is non-negotiable. You could say, “I understand things can be tough outside of work, and we can discuss ways to help, we also need to make sure you’re here and ready to contribute.”

Offer support where you can—maybe there’s a temporary adjustment you can make to help them get back on track— make it clear that this isn’t a permanent adjustment. At the end of the day, they need to show up, or the team suffers.

Client: Okay, that’s fair. But here’s the thing—what if we really can’t afford to lose anyone? What if we’re so short-staffed that even the unreliable employees are better than no one?

Consultant: I hear you. In today’s job market, hiring can feel like trying to find a needle in a haystack while wearing mittens. It’s a tough spot to be in, and here’s the reality: keeping someone who’s unreliable can sometimes do more harm than good. Their behavior can drag down the morale of the whole team, and their unreliability can lead to bigger issues, like missed deadlines, customer dissatisfaction, and good staff resigning.

So, what can you do? First, assess how critical these roles are and whether you can redistribute their responsibilities temporarily if needed. Sometimes a short-term pain of being understaffed is better than the long-term chaos of keeping someone who’s not pulling their weight. You could also consider offering additional incentives for existing employees to pick up extra hours or responsibilities—this can help cover gaps while you’re working on finding more reliable hires.

Client: But what if we just can’t find anyone to replace them?

Consultant: If hiring new people is a major challenge, it’s time to get creative. Look into alternative staffing solutions—like temp agencies, part-time workers, or even remote employees if that’s an option. Sometimes broadening your hiring criteria or reaching out to different talent pools can bring in people you might not have considered before. It might also be worth reviewing your job postings and recruitment process to make sure you’re attracting the right candidates.

In the meantime, focus on retention—keep your reliable employees happy so they don’t feel tempted to jump ship. That means regular check-ins, recognition, and making sure they’re not burning out while picking up the slack for those who are less dependable.

Client: That makes sense. But what about the ones who just don’t improve, no matter what we do?*

Consultant: For the truly incorrigible ones, it might be time for the tough decision. It’s not an easy call, especially when hiring is difficult, but sometimes you have to cut the dead weight to keep the boat from sinking. If you’ve given them multiple chances, provided support, and they’re still not showing up—or calling in—it’s probably time to say goodbye.

Before you do, make sure you’ve got all your documentation in order—every missed day, every tardy, every conversation. That way, if they try to contest it later, you’ve got a solid case to back up your decision. And when you do let them go, be clear and professional. “We’ve given you multiple opportunities to improve, and you have chosen not to take those opportunities. We have chosen to end your employment, and we wish you well in your future endeavors.”

Client: But what if that leaves us even more short-staffed?

Consultant: It’s a risk, no doubt. But sometimes taking a step back allows you to move forward more effectively. Use the opportunity to strengthen the team you do have—cross-train them, offer professional development, and make them feel valued. That way, when you do find new hires, they’re coming into a more stable and positive environment. Plus, a tighter, more motivated team can often accomplish more than a larger group that’s bogged down by unreliability.

Client: I guess it’s a balancing act—holding people accountable without risking losing them altogether.

Consultant: Exactly. It’s about finding that sweet spot where you’re maintaining standards without decimating your workforce. Just remember, accountability is a two-way street. If employees see that you’re serious about attendance and punctuality, they’re more likely to take it seriously themselves. And for those who don’t—well, sometimes the best thing you can do for your team is to show them the door.

Client: Thanks for the advice. I feel a bit more prepared to tackle this now. Any final tips?

Consultant: Just this: don’t let fear of losing staff keep you from maintaining standards. It’s a tough market, sure, and that doesn’t mean you should lower the bar. Keep your expectations high, communicate clearly, and be consistent with consequences. In the long run, you’ll build a stronger, more reliable team—one that doesn’t leave you wondering if anyone’s going to show up tomorrow.

We are here to help anytime.  Thanks for the Conversation.