Client: I have an employee who came to me with a complaint about a coworker but then said they don’t want me to take any action. I don’t want to ignore the issue, but I also don’t want to betray their trust. What should I do?
Consultant: This is a tricky situation. Employees sometimes bring up concerns because they want to vent, not because they want formal action. Even if they ask you not to do anything, you still have a responsibility to assess whether the issue needs to be addressed.
Client: So what do I say in the moment when they tell me they don’t want me to take action?
Consultant: Acknowledge their concern while setting expectations about your role.
You could say:
“I appreciate you trusting me with this. I want to respect your wishes, and at the same time, I have a responsibility to make sure workplace concerns are handled appropriately. Let’s talk through what’s happening and see what options make sense.”
This helps them feel heard while making it clear that some concerns require follow-up.
Client: What if it’s something small, like an annoying habit or a one-time issue?
Consultant: If it’s minor and doesn’t violate any policies, you can treat it as a coaching opportunity rather than a formal complaint.
Try this:
“If this is something that’s bothering you and isn’t a policy issue, we can talk about ways to address it directly. Have you considered speaking with your coworker about it?”
Encouraging employees to resolve small issues themselves can prevent unnecessary escalation.
Client: What if the complaint is about something serious, like harassment or safety concerns?
Consultant: If the issue involves harassment, discrimination, or workplace safety, you must act, even if the employee asks you not to.
You might say:
“I understand that you don’t want me to take action, and I want to respect your comfort level. At the same time, this is something I’m required to address to maintain a safe and respectful workplace. We’ll handle it appropriately and keep confidentiality in mind as much as possible.”
This reinforces that some complaints can’t be ignored while assuring them you’ll be discreet.
Client: What if they get upset and feel like I broke their trust?
Consultant: Transparency helps prevent that. If you set expectations upfront, they’re less likely to feel blindsided.
You could say:
“I want to be upfront about what I can and can’t keep private. If something affects workplace safety or company policies, I have to take the next steps. My goal is to handle this professionally while considering your concerns.”
This shows that your actions aren’t personal—they’re part of your responsibility as a manager.
Client: What if it’s an ongoing problem, but they still don’t want me to step in?
Consultant: If a pattern is emerging, it’s worth revisiting the conversation. The employee may eventually want help if the issue continues.
Try this:
“I know we talked about this before, and I want to check in. Is the situation improving, or would you like to explore some options for addressing it?”
This keeps the door open without forcing them into action.
Client: So, the key is balancing confidentiality, setting expectations, and knowing when I have to act?
Consultant: Exactly. Some concerns can stay private, while others require action. Being clear about that from the start helps employees feel heard while ensuring workplace issues don’t go unchecked.
And if you ever need guidance on handling tricky employee complaints, we’re here to help.